This week’s History Thread celebrates the All-Joking, All-Drunken Synod of Fools of Jesters. Peter the Great established this drinking club-cum-social satire as a way to ridicule what he considered the outdated practices of the Russian Orthodox Church, as a unique way of leading Russian society into the modern world (though perhaps no stranger than his habit of forcibly shaving boyars or holding mass dwarf weddings). Elaborate services organized around the principle “Bacchus be worshiped with strong and honorable drinking,” led by Peter’s old tutor Nikita Zotov, dubbed “Patriarch Bacchus” and featuring a variety of Russian noblemen and church leaders. He was aided in his debauches by nobles bearing such titles as Archdeacon Thrust-the-Prick and Father Fuck-Off, often sporting strap-on dildos and other sexual accouterments; as an appetizer for the Synod’s elaborate banquets, they served the court “penile sausages on cushions.”

Simon Sebag Montefiore describes the ceremony: “Prince-Pope Zotov, often stark naked except for his mitre, started the dinners by blessing the kneeling, berobed guests with a pair of Dutch pipes instead of a cross.” After an elaborate feast featuring copious alcohol, “Peter…would jump up and play the drums or order the blowing of trumpets and lead the company outside to fire artillery or light fireworks.” On special occasions, the Synod would parade through the streets of Moscow, with Zotov riding “a carriage pulled by goats, pigs and bears.” That said, there were still penalties for not following protocol: those who arrived late to the party were forced to drink massive amounts of vodka, in a prelude to the standard, expected drinking. If there’s nothing more miserable than compulsory fun, one imagines what the less-hedonistically inclined Russian noblemen felt about being subjected to this royal frat party on a regular basis.