After a terrible haircut, Jerry tries to go to a different barber without upsetting his old one, leading Newman to spy on Jerry for him. George isn’t sure if he’s been hired for a new job and takes a gamble. Elaine MCs a bachelor auction that includes Kramer.

Written by: Andy Robin
Directed by: Tom Cherones

This is another riff on the theme of otherwise platonic relationships being driven by the same insecurities and unspoken expectations of romantic ones. I want to say that this is an obvious exaggeration of that expectation; that no actual barber would care that much about a loyal customer going to a different barber, especially when it’s a different barber in the exact same barbershop. But then, I’ve not only witnessed weirder things, I’ve been part of them – a friend of mine lost her job recently when she asked her boss for a day off after loyally putting in so much time and they both escalated the argument over it, and I was once in what can only be described as a mutually toxic relationship with a boss not too different from a toxic romantic relationship where individual issues of each of us exploded into a full-blown mutual constant frustration.

Seinfeld makes such things look even sillier than they felt at the time. Those of us who care about an orderly society and protecting other’s feelings end up causing problems like this constantly, and Seinfeld reminds us how ridiculous we’re being when a simple, honest conversation is significantly less awkward. I also like how Newman ends up taking Jerry’s logic right into supervillainy – selling out over the absolute pettiest of grievances and taking it to a level that even George Costanza would find absurd.

Meanwhile, George himself continues to be weirdly creative in his blundering through basic social situations. George in full confidence mode kills me every single time; the idea that you ‘fake it til you make it’ was dumb to me at sixteen and only becomes more insane to me the older I get and the more I learn, and George’s action demonstrate the worst-case-scenario I always pictured with that attitude. I say this as a Millenial who is happy to have any kind of job: why not just get a job at something you’re good at?

TOPICS O’ THE WEEK

• Jerry’s haircut makes him look like Mitt Romney.
• “By the time he comes back, I’m ensconced.” This strikes me as a very Jerry Seinfeld line.
• I love that George does absolutely nothing for eight hours. I want to say that he’s just that shallow, but I’d probably do the same thing.
• Edward Scissorhands is such a hilariously specific film to bring everyone together. I love that Enzo has a very Jerry-like objection to the film.
• When George finds out Penske is here, you hear a woman in the audience cry out “oh no!”.
• Putting Kramer on a walkway is easy comedy gold, though him falling down is particularly great.
• “Well, bear in mind, I am in the smaller office.”
• This episode has a post-credits sequence! Sadly, the audience doesn’t react as strongly as I did.

Biggest Laugh:

Next Week: “The Masseuse”