Here Comes Peter Cottontail is the Holiday Inn of Rankin/Bass outings, managing to fit several special occasions into one hour thanks to a time travel story that sends its titular bunny on a quest to save Easter. To do this, he must win a contest to deliver the most eggs, but alas, he sleeps through the big day, losing the contest to the villainous Irontail, and now he’s desperately attempting to do the job on other holidays to make up for it.

After his best efforts on Christmas fail miserably, Peter dons a top hat to dress up as “The New Year’s Bunny,” but unfortunately, he can’t get the time machine to stop, and he ends up flying past the holiday.

Wait, that’s it? Huh. That doesn’t really give me much material for jokes, does it? What am I supposed to do now?

Fuck it. Here’s Rudi Rodnase—aka Red Nose—a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer rip-off from Germany with a budget of what appears to have been five whole dollars (nah, that’s being unfair; it probably cost just three dollars). Finding information on where the fuck this came from is virtually impossible, but do you remember Candy Claus? The Christmas Brigade? A Cranberry Christmas? Well, this is worse than all of those.

Don’t blame me. Blame Peter Cottontail for failing to do anything noteworthy on this holiday for me to talk about in this header.

Happy new year, y’all!