Here Comes Peter Cottontail is the Holiday Inn of Rankin/Bass outings, managing to fit several special occasions into one hour thanks to a time travel story that sends its titular bunny on a quest to save Easter. To do this, he must win a contest to deliver the most eggs, but alas, he sleeps through the big day, losing the contest to the villainous Irontail, and now he’s desperately attempting to do the job on other holidays to make up for it.

After his encounter with a family of freaks on Thanksgiving, Peter does the inevitable for a Rankin/Bass special and ends up at Christmastime. Disguising himself as a Salvation Army Santa, he is disappointed to find that no one is interested in free Holiday Eggs (for those keeping score, this time he does color them for the season). Defeated yet again, he is taken aback when he hears sobbing coming from a shop window, and finds it’s coming from…A TALKING HAT?!?!

That’s right, suddenly hats talk in this universe. Or maybe only this one does. I’m not really sure. Anyway, “Bonnie Bonnet” is sad that no one wants to buy her on Christmas Eve, which is probably because no one buys Easter Bonnets during this time of year, and also because potential customers are terrified by her ability to speak.

Peter feels sorry for Bonnie and attempts to barter with the shopkeeper, who despite the supposed old timey nature of the special is dressed in what would have been considered a very modern outfit during the 1970s. She kind of gives me Annie Potts in Ghostbusters vibes. Or she might be considered a MILF.

Now…where was I? Oh right. The talking hat. The shopkeeper, as it happens, loves Peter’s Christmas eggs and agrees to trade them for Bonnie. Technically, that might be a loophole around the contest, since I believe the rules say he has to give the eggs away, but I digress. It doesn’t matter since Irontail shows up and steals the eggs, determined to hide them, which is…actually what the Easter Bunny is supposed to do? So, good for him.

Irontail appears to finally be victorious now, were it not for the Deus ex Santa that crashes headfirst into him and foils his plans. Santa has saved the day, and I’m not really sure what he does with Irontail. Does he just take back him home? Talk about an awkward flight.

Merry Christmas, y’all! (And Happy Hanukkah!)