Well, it’s the post 4th of July hangover here in America, and while we feast on left over hot dogs & hamburgers for dinner, we’re also playing reheated leftovers on our video game consoles.

Aside from a few hentai titles on Steam, there isn’t really anything new this week. The biggest re-release is probably Darkest Dungeon II, which had previously been exclusive to the PC. The Switch is getting a fancy deluxe edition of Ace Combat 7: Unknown Skies which, according to early previews, runs really well on the device; who needs a Switch 2! Xbox players will now get to experience the thrill of Neon White, which will also be available on Game Pass.

Finally, the 1991 classic Parasol Stars will be coming to modern consoles this week. This is the third entry in the Bubble Bobble series and sees the protagonists of those games, Bub and Bob, in their human forms, using parasol’s to defeat enemies. Originally released for the TurboGrafx-16, this might be the first time the game has been released in North America in over 30 years (let me know if I’m wrong).

Darkest Dungeon II (PS4/PS5/Switch/Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Jul. 15^th

Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown Deluxe Edition (Switch) – Releases Jul. 11^th

Neon White (Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Jul. 11^th

Parasol Stars (PS4/PS5/Switch/Xbox One/Series X|S) – Releases Jul. 11^th

Notable Releases from 10, 20, and 30 years ago:

Didn’t see any new stuff that got you excited? Well, the notable titles aren’t much better!

First up, from 2014, we have the third person action/adventure game One Piece: Unlimited World Red. This was, if you can believe it, the 36th game based on the popular manga/anime One Piece, which began its run in 1997 and is slated to end in either late 2024 or early 2025. I am flabbergasted by the popularity of this property, but people swear by it. To be fair, I didn’t really start watching Dragon Ball until maybe 2015, so I tend to come to these things late.

In One Piece: Unlimited World Red, players take on the role of straw hat pirate Luffy and his various crewmates, like that skeleton guy and the lady with the giant tits. You go around, complete quests for NPCs, fight enemies, and play mini-games. That’s about it. Really, that’s it.

Critics gave Unlimited World Red above average scores, saying that it was a competent brawler with fun gameplay, but it often gets bogged down by the amount of fighting you need to do, and the large amount of mini-games you must complete in order to proceed in the game. The game also sold fairly well, moving over 1 million copies by 2017, after the game was ported to the PC, Switch and PS4. If One Piece is your thing, that’s cool, I’m happy for you. You probably already have this, and I think that’s great. If you don’t know anything about One Piece, eh, maybe you can ignore this.

2004’s notable release is another third person brawler, Crimson Tears, for the PS2. Developed by a studio called Dream Factory, Crimson Tears was made by the same team that worked on titles like Tobal No. 1, Ehrgeiz, and The Bouncer. Those games, while they have their fans, didn’t really set the world on fire, and neither did Crimson Tears.

Crimson Tears tasks players with exploring randomly generated dungeons, taking part in real time battles. That’s about it, for this game. Critics didn’t really care for Crimson Tears, finding it to be a generic and repetitive. They did, however, praise the game’s cel-shaded graphics and its cutscenes. Don’t bother looking for this game on any modern consoles, it was never re-released.

As for Dream Factory, they aren’t shut down, I don’t think. Wikipedia says the last thing they did was port Xevious to mobile devices in 2016, though many of its developers have gone on to work across multiple games for various other companies over the last 20 years. Good for them.

Our last notable game is the 1994 SNES title Stunt Race FX. This was the second game on the system, after Star Fox, to use the Super FX chip, which allowed SNES games to feature rendered 3D polygons. In Stunt Race FX (called Wild Trax in Japan), players drive anthropomorphic vehicles around a track and, well, try to win the race.

The Super FX chip was used extensively in the game, with each track made out of 3D polygons, and included bumps in the road, overpass bridges, and detailed billboards on the side of the track. Critical reception to the game was mixed, with most critics calling the game a poor follow-up to Star Fox which, to be fair, would be hard for any game to follow.

Despite solid sales through the rest of 1994, Nintendo pulled the plug on a potential sequel for the N64, opting to stick to their Mario Kart and F-Zero franchises. Stunt Race FX went neglected and forgotten for over 20 years, finally resurfacing in 2019 as part of the Nintendo Switch Online service.

Moving away from games, let’s talk movies! From 2014 we got the fantastic Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, the franchise reboot sequel that tells the story about how humans and apes came to despise one another. Set ten years after the first film, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, humanity is nearly wiped off the planet by a deadly disease. Meanwhile, Caesar and his tribe of super smart simians thrive in the woods, but must go on the defensive after a group of humans unknowingly invade their territory in an effort to bring electricity back to San Francisco. This movie rules.

2004 gave us one of my all-time favorite movies, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. While I must admit, being a San Diegan, I am not super keen on the whole “Stay classy, San Diego” bit or, even better, “Go fuck yourself, San Diego”, or the whole “whale’s vagina” thing, this movie is still filled with tons of one liner’s that my wife and I still use to this day. It’s funny, this film and Napoleon Dynamite have influenced the way I speak and the terms I use more than just about any other pieces of pop culture I’ve encountered. What happened to me in 2004?

From 1994 we have yet another classic film, James Cameron’s True Lies. I don’t know how I didn’t know this until now, but the movie is actually a remake of a 1991 French film called La Totale! (The Total!); crazy! At the time, True Lies was the most expensive film ever made, costing nearly $120 million to produce, making it the first film to have a budget over $100 million.

The high price tag paid off, though, as True Lies went on to become the third highest grossing films of the year, behind The Lion King and Forrest Gump. Despite the success and high ratings from critics, the film was criticized for its portrayal of Middle Easterners, as well as the way it treats its female characters.

Another black mark on the film, though one that wouldn’t be revealed until years later, was the sexual abuse of actress Eliza Dushku, who was twelve at the time, by the film’s stunt coordinator, Joel Kramer. That kind of brings the mood down on the whole thing, you know? Umm, uh, remember when Bill Paxton pisses himself in the movie, twice?? THAT was funny!!! Okay, we’re back, we’re smiling again…through gritted teeth and tears.

Stepping into the world of notable albums, 2014 was finally, FINALLY, the year that Weird Al got a number one album on the Billboard Top 200 with Mandatory Fun. Not only was this Al’s first number one album after a nearly 30 year career, but it was also the first time that a comedy album topped the Billboard Top 200. Like his previous albums, most of the songs are parodies of contemporary hits, with songs based on “Blurred Lines” (Word Crimes), “Happy” (Tacky), “Fancy” (Handy), and “Royals” (Foil).

2004’s notable album might not be one that you’ve heard of, but it’s one that is very near and dear to my heart, Porcelain by the band Sparta. After the dissolving of the band At the Drive-In, its members would break off into two separate groups, The Mars Volta, featuring singer Cedric Bixler-Zavala and guitarist Omar Rodriguez-Lopes, and Sparta, featuring guitarist Jim Ward, bassist Paul Hinojos, and drummer Tony Hajjar.

Porcelain is the bands second album, after debut Wiretap Scars, and has been their most successful to date, peaking at number 60 on the Billboard Top 200. While not a heavy favorite with critics through their career, I found the songs on Porcelain to be quite moving, with more than one track being songs I will listen to and cherish for the rest of my life, particularly “La Cerca” and “While Oceana Sleeps”.

Rounding things out, we’ve got 1994’s It Takes a Thief from rapper Coolio. Critics felt like the album brought a bit of levity to the world of “gangsta’ rap”, with its tongue-in-cheek lyrics and witty descriptions of a well, otherwise bleak and violent lifestyle. The album was propelled by the hit single “Fantastic Voyage”, which received heavy airplay on MTV and was one of those videos that I remember watching every day during Summer vacation in 1994. Slide, slide, slippity slide, this column is over now go and write…comments; fuck.

One Piece: Unlimited World Red (PS3/PS Vita/Wii U/3DS) – Released Jul. 8^th, 2014: Wiki Link

Crimson Tears (PS2) – Released Jul. 13^th, 2004: Wiki Link

Stunt Race FX (SNES) – Released Jul. 10^th, 1994: Wiki Link

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