Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer struggle to find where they parked their car. Jerry needs to pee, George needs to meet his parents, and Elaine needs to get out before her fish in a bag die.

Written by: Larry David

Directed by: Tom Cherones

Seinfeld is about the spaces between life. People often ask, what did we do before smartphones? It’s a funny question because even the people who were there can’t seem to remember, and the reason we can’t remember is because it was dumb moments like this that we did everything to get away from. It’s so much more difficult to get lost, confused, or bored than it was fifteen years ago. It’s about temporary spaces and tedious banality where your mind has nothing to do but wander.

Which makes it really funny that this is a very densely plotted half hour of TV. Larry David very clearly establishes three entirely different ticking clocks in the opening minute – something any Michael Moorcock fan knows is an essential feature of an adventure story – and then lets his characters struggle for solutions. It’s very basic but very compelling storytelling.

It ends up threading a lot of needles; not just between the mundane and the epic but between extremes of good and evil (or at least self-righteousness and petty vindictiveness). We get the two sides of George Costanza in how he contributes nothing but morbid whining to the problem at hand but tries to stop a parent manhandling her child (only, of course, to have the kid insult him).

In a broader sense, the main conflict ends up being between Kramer and the guys, which is to say self-interest vs social obligation. I love that he’s baffled by their dedication to The Rules (and even more so by Michael Richards playing it so good naturedly), and of course they’re both immediately punished for following his advice.

My favourite conflict, though, is Elaine vs Apathy. Her solution is to try asking for help, appealing to people’s sympathy for her fish, and she nearly has a breakdown at her repeated failure. My all time favourite part is her teary-eyed confusion at why nobody will explain why they won’t help; as if she could figure out the reasoning and break through it.

It’s a dynamic I’ve played out and seen a million times in my life; to riff on a Walter White line, trying to find some combination of words to make people do what you want. It’s funny to watch people try and fail to ‘reason’ someone into agreeing with them; it’s even funnier to watch Elaine fail to even get to the first step.

When I was younger, I would have said ‘people are not rational’, but now I’d go a step further: people are hyperrational, and these people are easily fulfilling their goal (get themselves home as fast and painlessly as possible) and happily doing it at the expense of Elaine’s goal (get herself home as fast and painlessly as possible). It’s really funny to see Elaine in near tears over her failure to break through that.

TOPICS O’ THE WEEK

• I actually did lose my car in a parking garage quite recently, which obviously amused me; it’s one of the few things I don’t have the technology to overcome, as compared to, day, getting directions. My solution was to start at the top and systematically work my way down until I found my car.
• George has an anti-incel moment when he points out women actually don’t like being approached and hit on in a parking garage.
• Jerry making up reasons he should be allowed to pee in the garage is a very Bart Simpson moment.
• George and Kramer have a discussion on death that ends up drawing attention to why they work so well as a comedy duo. Kramer isn’t afraid to die and George is obsessed with the concept.
• Jerry finishes with a really good bit for a change.
• The car failing to start – famously, an accident in production – is a perfect moment.

Biggest Laugh: This made me laugh hard partially for how applicable it is. It made me think of people showing me dumb shit people say on social media.

Next Week: “The Cafe”