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This is definitely an episode that thrives by never letting up long enough for you to think about how silly everything that’s going on is. It doesn’t even give you long enough to be horrified at the thought of an ice cream marathon before it’s sailing off to the next plot point.

I love how much this show has already established its world as one where nothing here seems out of the ordinary. “It’s a gnome knight.” “No, it’s a frog dressed as a gnome knight.” “Actually, I was a gnome knight who was cursed and turned into a frog.”

On hearing the little gnome gnight’s tale of woe, Finn immediately agrees to take on what’s basically a lifelong commitment to guard beans forever. It’s funny that makes this two episodes I’ve covered where Finn is, to quote Bufo, “irresponsibly responsible.”

Almost no time has gone by before Jake starts trying to weasel his way out of Finn’s commitment. Which, honestly, I’m on his side here. What, now he’s gotta sit here for the rest of his natural life because Finn agreed to watch some beans?

In true weaselly big brother fashion, Jake convinces Finn to plant the beans instead, so they can destroy the evil bean and get on with their lives. I probably would have tried to convince Finn to like, I dunno, stick the beans in a locket and carry it around forever, but whatevs, this probably makes for a more entertaining story.

The first pod spits up a bunch of adorable piglets in tiny costumes, which is somehow the most absurd thing ever, yet barely the third weirdest thing in this episode. Finn, in an interesting twist, is perfectly willing to accept that something this cute could be evil and will clearly murder these adorable little babies if they give him a reason to.

A failed standardized test later and the pigs have been given the all clear, interrupted by the second vine sprouting and spitting out a stack of magic wands that make rainbows and glitter, which are also clearly not evil.

After this there’s a brief cute montage of them playing with the piggies before they pass out. When they come to, the third pod has dropped, and in a twist everyone saw coming, is absolutely not evil, being instead a magic ice cream generating, uh… Pod. Meanwhile the piggies have stolen the wands and are wreaking havoc on a nearby village.

Jake gets blasted with glitter and can’t stop dancing, leaving Finn to save the day by murdering a bunch of lactose intolerant piglets.

He destroys the pigs and the day is sort of saved.

Again, this one is just a goofy weird ride with not much happening beneath the hood, but it’s funny enough that it just sails along. It thrives on the strength of a lot of weird little moments, but it’s light and zippy as it breezes from joke to joke. It definitely sort of continues the general theme this season of Finn wondering what evil really means, anyway, though it’s clear the writers just had a bunch of silly ideas in mind rather than anything with real significance.

Stray Thoughts:

• “And what, now you’re attracting a mate?”
• “Uh oh. Someone is gonna do a quest for a frog.”
• I think Jake immediately laughing at the very idea of magic beans and being annoyed by the quest at all goes a long way to helping suspend disbelief. “Really? We have to do the bean quest?!”
• I like how Finn is immediately willing to believe the piglets are evil, no matter how adorable they are.
• “Dude! Don’t just lick stuff!” I say this to my kids all the time.
• Glitter has that effect on me, too. Also, the song that plays when the glitter takes hold is called “Dance Magic Dance”, which I think is a great little Labyrinth reference.
• “FREEZE TO MEET YOU! HOPE YOU SAVED ROOM FOR DESSERT! KILLING YOU WITH ICE CREAM.” A classic 1-2-3 joke setup, and Jeremy Shada really nails the delivery, making the last one just sound like a statement of fact and not even trying to make it sound like a dramatic line.
• Jake bloodthirsty while dancing slays me. Sadly I could not find a gif of him shouting “KILL IT” while grooving.
• The mushroom people, still dancing, going, “Now we have to remove all this ice cream from our homes and businesses” is real great.
• This episode tosses together a bunch of fairy tales, like the Frog Prince, the Three Little Pigs, Jack and the Beanstalk, and that one where someone dances themselves to death.

SNAIL! Almost didn’t see it.

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Its your turn in the initiative order. The locals are subject to their cultist leader who is nearing completion in a ritual to their dark god. It’s a deadly melee down there between your party members and brain-washed cultists but with the help of the horde of dragons (that you listed on the promise of revenge) you make it to the ritual on time and dive from above off a sweet acrobatic backflip. The magic soul-reconstituting sword is held firmly in your hands as you hope this surprise attack is enough to catch them off guard (you’re resistant to bludgeoning so falling damage be damned!). You plunge the sword into the cultist leader who croaks in the most pathetic looking death pose all while cursing you and your companions. Your dungeon master proceeds to play the campaign victory music (“Ants Marching” by Dave Matthews Band) and all began to celebrate. The dragons nod in approval, the town is saved and high fives are given all-around.

“Great job everyone. I never expected that from you all and somehow it worked out for the best!”, your DM says congratulating you. “Okay so what do you want to do about these goblins?”

Wait what? Oh RIGHT the goblins. They made bombs for you and sacrificed a lot for the success of this operation. They’re real jerkasses but you managed to have them play nice after overthrowing their super jerkass leader. And oh right, the dragons want revenge because one of these pesky goblins bombed their dad or something. Well nuts…. I guess we have to uh… install new leadership and check back on them in a month or so while we adventure elsewhere? Your DM shakes their head. Nah, everyone is going to die you better do something.

“The Silent King” starts right in the middle of the action with Finn and Jake battling the goblin king, Xergiok (Davey Johnson). Xergiok is a more stereotypical goblin we’d see in media and dungeons and dragons campaign. The kind of goblin that is selfish, brutish and willing to spank the hams of anyone who opposed them. Goblins are usually there to serve as evil jerks for your adventuring party to fight and not feel guilty over and Xergiok does nothing to refute that.

Xergiok is defeated by Finn and Jake and its revealed that the goblins are in desperate need of a new king (its also pretty common for goblins to fall apart without any leadership). Unlike Xergiok, these goblins are sweethearts who have been rather traumatized by the mad spankings of their former king. But yes it will all fall apart into riots unless something can be done by Finn and Jake.

Finn and Jake are great at adventuring and overthrowing corrupt kings but will freely admit they’re not the most suited to rule over a kingdom. Jake may be able to enjoy some of the luxuries of royal living but it’s a completely foreign world for Finn who only wants to fight using his sword. It’s kind of like King Robert Baratheon (that’s a Game of Thrones/Song of Ice and Fire reference) and how he was left feeling empty and useless after the rebellion against the Targaryens.

Finn and Jake receive the full tour of Goblin Kingdom by Gummy (Michael J. Anderson of Twin Peaks fame) and when they wake up after a royal power nap they quickly learn there are A LOT of rules. While this kind of makes for an annoying premise for an episode it does have a familiar feeling of a dungeons and dragons game where the DM subverts your expectations of the customs and how you’re supposed to treat the populace (actually this is exactly how it was for me in the Feywild). Unfortunately for me I thought the joke got old pretty quickly so I’m not going to talk much about that. Same with the spanking gags, the episode definitely approached South Park levels of belaboring the same joke.

The episode picks up again when Xergiok returns with his tiny-spear-wand in-hand and an army of earclops! Its a silly design and silly fight that’s quick and fun. But more impressive is the Finn+Jake combination known as Jake Suit! The animation for the reveal is goofy with Finn jumping directly into Jake’s mouth (his hat also turns yellow for some reason) and popping out with defined yellow abs.

Xergiok is defeated and our heroes managed to find a perfect solution for their goblin friends. Just have Whisper Dan with a Finn head be king. It seems to work well enough.