Disney’s Frozen opened on this day in 2013. Wait, what? Why, that would mean that Frozen is now…

Normally this would be the part where I tell you “Frozen was huge, blah, blah, blah,” but in this case, I don’t think that’s needed. Basically, the success of Frozen speaks for itself. In short, it won two Oscars, became the best-selling Blu-ray ever (a title that it’s likely to keep), and was the highest grossing animated movie of all time until, as fate would have it, Frozen II opened six years later. So it’s safe to say that Elsa is kind of popular.

Anyway, for a movie this big, I’m sure there was a McDonald’s or Burger King promotion to match, right? Sadly, no. You see, Frozen came out during the “dark ages” of Disney fast food tie-ins, meaning that all it had to work with…was Subway. Now, long ago, Subway used to give away actual toys with their kids meals, but by this point, all they had were…bags. And I’m talking cheap bags. They were made out of some kind of cloth material that felt extremely light, and they were very small, so you couldn’t really put anything in them. I think that, on paper, they were supposed to put your sub in them when they served it to you, but c’mon. You don’t want to put a greasy Subway sandwich in your special bag unless you want to ruin it with olive oil. But oh well. I guess they were still nice enough?

There was also a commercial. But it mainly consists of “eat healthy, kids! Put lots of veggies on your subs! Yum!” and doesn’t really have much to do with Frozen. I mean, there’s one bit in which they try to make it seem like Elsa is exclaiming “what is that amazing smell?” in relation to a Subway restaurant. This is ironic, because have you been to a Subway lately? Because those places have very distinct and confusing odors. I’m not even talking about the quality of their food. Just the baffling aroma.

Have a cool night, y’all!