Sorry, but Ruber is Back to Make Sure the Day Thread Stays His

Originally, this was going to be another type of Day Thread. I think I was finally going to do one of those Godzilla ones I keep teasing? Or maybe it was going to be about Bluey’s floating cartoon eyebrows and whether or not she can physically lose them. But those fun topics can wait for another time.

Because I realized I have only barely scratched the surface when discussing Ruber, the legendary Quest for Camelot villain who created a mechanical army, and did so with pride. I haven’t even really gotten into details, for instance, regarding the main goal of his evil plot, which is to get his hands on King Arthur’s magical sword, Excalibur, and use it for very evil purposes (including, among other things, killing King Arthur).

“I’m surrounded by idiots.”

SPOILER ALERT FOR AN ANIMATED MOVIE THAT CAME OUT 25 YEARS AGO! In the end, Ruber gets his wish, and manages to successfully steal Excalibur. “I’ll make sure Arthur gets it back,” he tells the heroine Kayley, and with great wit adds, “Or gets it in the back! As the case may be!” Ruber, you see, is also an amazing comedian. However, to make sure no one ever steals the sword back from him, Ruber takes rather…interesting measures, and uses magic to attach said sword to his arm. And by that I mean he turns his arm into Excalibur.

I don’t like how this still seems to imply that Ruber is hung as hell.

Now, let’s be real here; I don’t think Ruber quite thought this through. Sure, he has Excalibur “forever” and that’s apparently what he wants, but how exactly is this guy going to wipe his butt now? I suppose the magic sword might also double as a suitable kitchen knife for when he’s not using it to kill King Arthur, but sleeping is going to be extremely difficult for this man for the foreseeable future. He’ll have to make sure he never turns over on his side, or else he might accidentally cut himself open. Then he’d wake up and be like “oh, shit! This is unfortunate!” And don’t even get me started on how he’s going to masturbate now…

Have a great day, y’all!