The Little Mermaid Handheld Game Day Thread Needs to Swim

As you’ve no doubt heard, a new version of Disney’s The Little Mermaid is now playing in theaters, and all internet discourse aside, it’s going to make a ton of money. But instead of talking about that, why don’t we get into some old school merchandise for the original movie? And what’s more old school than Tiger Electronic Handheld Games?

The Little Mermaid, of course, had one, but it didn’t hit store shelves until 1991, two years after the film opened. I guess the demand was huge for an LCD game where you could help Ariel pick up forks. This little girl in the commercial certainly seems to be having fun (and getting way too intense over the appearance on Ursula), and hey, if I recall correctly, this did get a lot of enjoyment out of me back in the day.

There were no stages in this game where you got to play Ariel as a human. In fact it doesn’t really follow the plot of the film at all, but you do get to help Prince Eric impale Ursula with a boat, so that’s pretty sweet. For the most part, though, you had to help Ariel “go swimming,” and if you’re not sure how to do that, no need to threat, as the instruction manual told you how to do so like you were a child (I mean, sure, you probably were a child, but that’s not my point!).

Now if you feel the itch to play this for yourself, you actually can, as it’s one of the games Hasbro has reissued as part of their retro series. What’s going to be a lot harder for you to find is The Little Mermaid II for the PS1, released in 2000. This combined the original film’s story along with that of the straight-to-video sequel Return of the Sea, which meant that you could play as both Ariel and her daughter Melody. So that’s cool. It had a trailer, and…okay, seriously, what is up with the gloomy as all fuck music here? It sounds like what plays every time a character in Lord of the Rings dies, only it somehow sounds even more depressing. You’re trying to sell me The Little Mermaid, not fucking Diablo!

Have a great day, y’all!