“Look, we gotta do a commercial for one of those shitty children’s story time hotlines.”

“Alright. What’s the gimmick?”

“Gimmick? What gimmick?”

“You know, do we have a cartoon character? Are He-Man and She-Ra promising the kids exciting stories if they call? Is Santa Claus wanting children to call him for reasons that aren’t at all creepy?”

“Um, no. We just have stories. No characters.”

“Oh.”

“Really, I’m not even sure who is sponsoring this. But for two dollars a minute, those brats can hear a crappy story or something, so let’s get to work. We have five minutes.”

“Five minutes to do what?”

“To finish the commercial.”

“What? You’re fucking with me!”

“And now we have only four minutes. You’d better come up with something quick.”

“But…”

“Three minutes now! Stop wasting time!”

“Um…I have some ugly puppets in the closet. I think I bought them at a pharmacy gift shop. I can’t even remember. I think one of them is supposed to maybe be a pirate. Maybe.”

“GRAB THEM AND LET’S SHOOT THE COMMERCIAL!”

“Are you sure? It’s going to look like we put no effort into this. Like we don’t even care.”

“DID I ASK FOR YOUR REVIEW? GRAB THE FUCKING PUPPETS ALREADY!”

“Oh. Okay. Did I mention one of them is a dragon or something?”

“ACTION!”

Have a great day, y’all! And remember, if you want to hear a GREAT story, just call the number above! (And don’t bother asking your parents first, we’re just covering our butts legally when we tell you to do that)