The Frosty’s Winter Wonderland Night Thread Doesn’t Count as a Christmas Thread

Frosty’s Winter Wonderland is a 1976 TV special from Rankin/Bass. Despite airing at Christmastime, I would make the argument that it’s not really a Christmas special. In fact, Christmas itself is never even mentioned! Instead, it’s really a “winter” story, with Frosty being lonely and I guess a little bit horny, so the kids pull a Bride of Frankenstein and literally create a wife for him.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, the kids are missing Frosty–which makes very little sense, since none of these kids are from the original special. And the weird thing is I think they’re supposed to be? Maybe? But they very clearly aren’t, even though I’ve seen some fans try to convince me that this girl is Karen from the first one….

THAT IS NOT KAREN!!!!

Now, where was I? Oh right. Frosty comes back, but he’s sad since he has no one to hang out with “at night” because the kids go inside at that time, and he can’t join them what with his whole melting issue. One of the children (the one who is not Karen) suggests that Frosty find himself a wife, and once she explains what a “wife” is to him, Frosty likes the idea: “what a neat invention!’ Yeah, good luck talking like that on Twitter, Frosty. You’re just asking to be cancelled.

Complicating matters is Jack Frost. No, not the serial killer snowman. No, not Chris Pine. No, not Michael Keaton. No, this Jack Frost…is jealous because Frosty is popular. In a small town. Where all of the kids love him. Jack Frost could, I don’t know, just go somewhere else since he literally has all of winter to manage, but instead he plots to destroy Frosty to…get back at the kids for not liking him. Or something. Is Frosty doomed? Will his wife who was created for him be happy to be wed to him? Or will Frosty, in a chilling ending, pull down a deadly switch with the iconic line “We belong melted!“?

Also, SWEET JESUS WHY DOES THIS GIRL HAVE NO NOSE???

Frosty’s Winter Wonderland was originally aired on ABC. Like many Rankin/Bass sequels, it doesn’t feature many returning characters. Actually, apart from Frosty himself, the only familiar face is the traffic cop. You know, the one who Frosty surprised so badly that he accidentally swallowed his whistle and began making whistling noises out of his lips. Funny stuff. This time, the same gag happens, except that he appears to be choking on the whistle, desperately clutching onto his throat as he tries to get it out. This joke is apparently considered too violent for AMC–which currently has the broadcast rights–as they remove it from the annual airings (also, it isn’t done for the sake of more commercial time. They only remove the bit where he is seen choking, which lasts about five seconds).

Have a frosty night, Avocados!