WW 192: Welcome to Were-perture Science

Astronauts! War heroes! Olympians! Desperate alcoholic hobos!

You’re here because you’re the best. … Or because you answered our classified ad promising $60 for an afternoon’s worth of work and a tissue sample.

Either way, what’s important is that you’re here. Welcome to Aperture Laboratories. You might know us from our participation in the 1968 Senate hearings on those missing astronauts, or possibly from that wildly inaccurate exposé those muckraking bastards at Vice pulled.

Now, see that thing on the desk there that looks like a phonebook for the greater Manhattan metropolitan area? Just flip right to the back of it and sign it. No need to read it, even if you had the time to go through it my lawyers have assured me that there’s absolutely no chance you’ll understand any of it.

Here at Aperture there’s a thousand tests performed every day in our Enrichment Chambers, so the exact testing initiative you’ll be taking part in might vary depending on your experience, physical abilities, or blood type. If you’ve got a badge that says K-Alpha-7 and we implanted a microchip in your skull, then please follow the green line to the medical offices. We’ve got to get that back out, turns out it’s going to hit a few thousand degrees in a half hour. Not sure what the lab boys were thinking with that one.

The rest of you please follow the blue line.

And remember, you can easily make an extra $60 if you agree to will your remains to Aperture Laboratories upon your demise.

This is a game meant for 16 players, though it can be expanded to 20 if needed.

  1. MacCrocodile
  2. April
  3. Mrs. Queequeg
  4. MSD
  5. Lamb
  6. Wasp
  7. The Hayes Code
  8. Lindsay
  9. Marlowe
  10. Raven and Rose
  11. Chumjoely
  12. Cork
  13. Flubba
  14. Indy
  15. Abby
  16. Side Character

This is an item-based game where the roles are instead tools.

The wolves and town each have two that are permanent.

The remaining ones will be distributed at random among everyone without one. They can be lost, broken, stolen, or potentially explode.

TOWN:

11 Vanilla Test Subjects- You have no power but your vote, unless you get one. In which case you’ll have that one too.

1 Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device- Can be used to unexpectedly transport yourself or someone else, potentially getting them out of harm’s way but also probably confusing them. Cannot be used on same target on consecutive nights. (Town Jailer)

1 Oracle Turret- Not sure where you found this thing. It’s supposed to be murdering you, but instead it just whispers weirdly prescient facts. Can be asked each night about a fellow Test Subject, will tell you what item they have. (Town investigator)

WOLVES:

1 Fact Core- Spouts an endless stream of useless facts. Each night can distract one player, making them forget to take an action. (Wolf roleblocker)

1 Curiosity Core- Spurs you to poke around other people’s belongings. Each night can target one person. If they have an item, you find out what it is, what it does, and have the choice of stealing it. If you steal it, you can hold on to it or hand it off to Wheatley. If you hold onto it, you can’t steal another until you use it. If you die, one of the other wolves can take this core.

Wheatley- Formerly an intelligence dampening core, now retrofit into an android body. You are not merely a moron, you are the result of the greatest minds of a generation tirelessly working to create the biggest moron possible. You cannot be detected unless you have an item. When you use them, it will be… Interesting.

ITEMS:

Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube- Somehow you feel safer with this around. However, at the first sign of danger, you will sacrifice your cube to save yourself, you monster. If the cube could speak (And Aperture Science would like to take this opportunity to remind you that it cannot), it would tell you that it would rather die horribly than know that it stood idly by while its only friend in this world was injured.

Aperture Science Encouragement Laser Redirection Cube- This multi-mirrored cube can be used to redirect an action. Name two people each night, and any night actions performed on one will target the other, and vice versa. Cannot target the same players on consecutive nights.

Aperture Science Perpetual Testing Initiative Universal Multiverse Shuffler- Once, can be used to flip through the multiverse to find one where nobody is being murdered that day, giving a daykill reprieve. Almost entirely guaranteed not to accidentally land on a universe where someone was never born.

Repulsion Gel- A sticky blue substance that causes anyone and anything to rebound off it at high speed. Can be applied to a different player each night, making any of the night actions targeting them reflect back at the originator. Cannot be used on the same person more than once, because it will cause horrific bone cancer. We don’t know what element it is yet, but it’s a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.

Aperture Laboratories Official Certified Pre-Owned Equipment Reclamation Ticket- Can be used once to receive a factory reconditioned, guaranteed-to-function piece of authentic Aperture Science testing equipment. (Note: Guarantee is not a guarantee) Will receive a used up or previously eliminated item from this list at random, though it may malfunction.

Now, who here is ready to make some science?