What is Clooneyville you ask? It’s not only a place; it’s a state of delusion.

I invented Clooneyville as punishment for my friends always killing me first in games of Mafia, even if I wasn’t Mafia. So, I opted to narrate the next game and unleashed this batshit town upon them. Clooneyville is Twin Peaks if it was created by Dan Aykroyd instead of David Lynch. It has the qualities of a port town but was (originally) located near no body of water. Everyone talks with a blend of the Chicago and New Jersey accents, and there’s a bronze statue erected to George Clooney.

Since then, it’s evolved into a proper inside joke in my friend group. Everything is Clooneyville. We had a game night where I invented new characters from Clooneyville and expanded the lore. Clooneyville is now located somewhere between Chicago and Milwaukee, along Lake Michigan. Some say it’s just Waukegan, but those people are liars. There ain’t never been no Waukegan! Only Clooneyville! It’s chief crop is watermelons, which are harvested from the melon farms found at the bottom of the lake. It’s also famous for bottled oil, which was sold as a wonder tonic/fuel source.

Clooneyville has evolved into an exaggeration of Prohibition Era towns, loaded with speakeasies and cheap hooch. Everyone went to school to be a criminal mastermind, but they all flunked out and took whatever job they could to pay their loan sharks. It’s the kind of town where strolling into the drug store for a chocolate fizz and some aspirin, you find an old lady brandishing a snub-nose revolver and a satchel full of twenties. It’s a hardboiled town where the kids don’t play jacks or cops & robbers; they played blackjack and racketeering operation. They say this is where Jimmy Hoffa went to retire. It’s a town that made Capone shiver with fear.

Day Thread, Welcome to Clooneyville! Now you too are residents of Clooneyville!