The Weekend Politics Obeys the Rule of Three

Uvular’s challenge, should he choose to accept it, demands tackling three eternal problems in governance, law and historiography in three paragraphs each before bringing this header to a logical conclusion by identifying a common theme, a through line, that justified his efforts as compositor and your forbearance as unwitting audience for the stunt. Please, watch him fall.


♪ ’Cause I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you ♪

Polarizing, yet attractive

Prevaricating police putrefy public policy. Examples of body camera footage, bystander recordings and eyewitness accounts directly contradicting official reports and court testimony extend to infinity. Two freshly moldering instances of this merit more than passing attention.

Investigations by the Austin-American Statesman reveal Uvalde law enforcement officials flatly lied1 to Texas Gov. Greg Abbott ahead a press conference on the Robb Elementary School massacre response. With every word of that presentation now retracted—including “the” and “a” —evidence shows the governor added details of his own invention to further burnish the badge.

“Trust only your fists,” a popular video game lionizing violent street crime exhorts. In light of the dizzying dissemblances devolving from the Uvalde debacle, one feels tempted to act on that deleterious directive. But vigilantism cuts mostly the wrong way, resulting more often in Georgia congresspeople leading insurrectionists on reconnaissance missions through the U.S. Capitol than it does in stopping or punishing actual wrongdoing. Plus, cops will lie to protect bad actors anyway, as the U.S. Capitol Police chief did when preemptively and counterfactually absolving the Georgia congresspeople who led reconnaissance missions.


♫ What makes a man spend his whole life in disguise?
I think I know
I think I might know ♫

Urbane tinged pseudonymity

Personhood puzzles perspicacious panjandrums. To wit, presented a pachyderm poser, justices of the supreme court of the State of New York2 ruled an elephant held in the Bronx Zoo did not have constitutional rights akin to a human’s.

This elephantine edict both counterpoints and echoes earlier judicial decrees regarding how to treat individuals from species other than homo sapiens. Argentine jurists recognized limited “human rights” for orangutans. Later, the U.S. Court of Appels for the Ninth Circuit decided a monkey cannot hold copyright to a selfie.3

Such cases will recur, and no one can predict the final outcomes. With a California state court recently granting piscine status to apian lifeforms for eminently sound legal reasons, a hare might one day even convince the Court of Arbitration for Sport to strip a tortoise of its footrace medal.


♬ I knew a man
Who lied to the world
Hid from the truth,
Lived a life with no rules ♬
One-tracked minds

Peevish pissants persecute populaces. Lest you doubt, revisit4 Uvular’s June 19, 2021, Weekend Politics Thread header. He’ll wait. He has nothing better to do.

Fine. Uve will recap.

Enslavers residing in Texas between Jan. 1, 1863, and June 19, 1865, intentionally withheld news of emancipation from their captives. Lying by omission compounded the slavers’ embrace and enactment of the already mortally damning lie of racial superiority. Wartime White Texans added jerkiness to human trafficking, kidnapping and false imprisonment. Jackasses, the lot of ‘em.


Parceling the preceding prosy paragraphs perplexes the pontificator. Except, it doesn’t.

Truth matters, and it eventually surfaces. Arriving at the truth too often takes uncommon effort and the frequent lawsuit. The world incrementally improves with each revelation, but too many suffer while truth remains hidden and lies intentionally buried.

Speed the betterment of society by telling your truths below.