American Song Contest Episode 8: Grand Finals

TOO GOOF FOR THIS SINFUL EARTH

Christ almighty, we’ve made it. 56 entries, cut down to a final 10. Imagine I made a slideshow of the fallen set to Orinoco Flow. Yeah, that’s nice. Here’s who remain!

  • Ni/Co, Alabama – The Difference. Still unsure why their performance warrants an aspect ratio change
  • Tenelle, American Samoa – Full Circle. This one’s got a live horn section on stage, what’s not to love
  • Riker Lynch, Colorado – Feel The Love. The most questionable thing about this, and there is a lot, is what do Hawaiian shirts have to do with Colorado
  • Michael Bolton, Connecticut – Beautiful World. Why won’t you talk about the pizza again, Michael? Why won’t you talk about the pizza??
  • Jordan Smith, Kentucky – Sparrow. The only non-bearded man picked by the jury!
  • Chloe Fredericks, North Dakota – Can’t Make You Love Me. I believe this is the only song left that has pyrotechnics in its staging. A win for this song will be a win for glorious fire
  • AleXa, Oklahoma – Wonderland. The most complicated staging of the whole damn show, unfortunately this isn’t American Stage Contest. Yet.
  • Tyler Braden, Tennessee – Seventeen. No
  • Grant Knoche, Texas – Mr. Independent. Depended on the public voting you in, though
  • Allen Stone, Washington – A Bit of Both. A win for this song will be a win for beards, just like the jury wants

Gimme your money and I’ll place your bets. I could really use the win from doing this task, so please just gimme money.