Do NOT Fuck with the Super Bear Day Thread

As far as cereal mascots go, Sugar Bear has a pretty chill reputation. His sugary cereal, rather inexplicably, gives him the means to punch through any problem he may face, but even then, he’s so cool about it. Nothing makes the guy tick.

Unless, of course, you are foolish enough to STEAL his cereal, at which point he will freak his shit out, transform into SUPER BEAR, and destroy you and everyone you love!

During a series of commercials from the early 1980s, Sugar Bear and some kids would usually be enjoying cereal out in the wilderness or on a boat or other normal places where you have your breakfast, but then some badass dumbass motherfuckers would swipe his Super Sugar Crisp up and carry it off to their evil lair (instead of, you know, buying it at the grocery store. I mean, cereal isn’t expensive, so maybe these guys could be using their villainy more productively).

Number five on WatchMojo’s ten greatest anime fights of all time.

Anyway, Sugar Bear would have NONE OF THIS, so he would say his iconic catchphrase (yes, he had a catchphrase): “Stealing cereal isn’t fair, so I’ll turn into…SUPER BEAR!!!” Then he’d pretty much transform into The Incredible Hulk (except he would be naked), and would unleash MERCILESS HELL AND CARNAGE upon those who dared to cross him!

At the time, I’m sure these ads lead to some playground conversations with children. “Who would win in a fight: Tony the Tiger or Super Bear?” The answer, obviously, would be Super Bear, who would probably make short work of Tony and leave him in a bloody pulp of frosted waste on the ground. Also, if you REALLY liked Super Bear back in the day, your mom could iron him onto a shirt for you (please note I’m referencing the directions on the box, which specifically say this is a job for “mom”).

Both He-Man and Sugar Bear made an entire generation of kids gay.

Have a SUPER day, Avocados! And whatever you do, DO NOT TAKE SUGAR BEAR’S CEREAL, OR YOU WILL FUCKING REGRET IT!!!