The Spider-Man Night Thread is Too Busy Playing Video Games to Bother with Green Goblin

The original Spider-Man turns 20 years old tomorrow. It’s a classic, genre-defining superhero movie that changed the industry and is also the first blockbuster to open to more than $100 million. It features many epic and memorable battles between Spidey and the insane Green Goblin…but it’s not the first time they met on screen.

No, the first live-action confrontation between the two of them was in a 1982 video game commercial for the Spider-Man cartridge for the ATARI system. In it, we find Green Goblin taunting Spider-Man with threats of his pumpkin bombs, but Spider-Man…is occupied. You see, he’s busy playing video games on the roof (as you do), and he’s taking playing himself on screen extremely seriously. Sure, Green Goblin might blow up New York, but hey, this game is hard. It requires Spidey’s full attention.

The commercial has production values which are both goofy and impressive. I wouldn’t be surprised if this ad had a bigger budget than the game it was advertising. Goblin is surprisingly comics-accurate, while still looking quite silly…

I mean, Spidey is really fucking into this game. Even when he’s with some kids who are playing it, the screen is all he can concentrate on. He doesn’t even care that Stan Lee is chilling with him, or that Green Goblin is there to potentially terrorize the children. He’s fucking mesmerized by these graphics which only sort of kind of but don’t really look like him…

Of course, as the years went by, Spidey found other things to distract him from his life of crime-fighting. In 2002, to promote his new movie, he found he had a taste for Hardee’s burgers. Or, more specifically, “$6 Burgers”….which cost three dollars and 95 cents, because confusing.

Why does that burger look so fucking huge? Is that thing even going to fit in his mouth? Anyway, it must’ve been a damn good burger, since it’s one of the only things “Spider-Man will take his mask off for”…

Have a SWINGING good night, Avocados!