The Night Thread Sheds Seven Pounds

Seven Pounds is a 2008 drama starring Will Smith as the mysterious Ben Thomas, a man on a quest to SPOILER! He is seeking out people so he can gift them with SPOILER, because he feels bad over SPOILER, which is why he feels he must SPOILER, leading up to an ending in which he SPOILERS ALL OVER THE SPOILER SPOILER! Much of the movie consists of Will Smith being judgmental of others, as he decides if they are “worthy” of the SPOILER he has to give them.

If that seems too vague, don’t worry. The trailer was equally confusing, sort of making it seem like Will Smith might be playing a god or something, since he “has a secret”…

I saw this film in theaters during the holiday season, as Seven Pounds fever was sweeping the nation. You really had to be there. Everyone loved this movie. It was a word-of-mouth sensation, with typical audience chatter consisting of comments like these…

“Confusing.”

“Well, that was a movie.”

“I wasn’t expecting that. I mean, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t that.”

“It’s like someone took the obligatory ‘Will Smith is haunted’ scene from every film he’s ever done and decided to make a whole movie of just that.”

“I wish I had seen that weird animated thing with the sword-fighting mouse instead.” (Funnily enough, word-of-mouth of people who went to that film was usually “I wish I had seen that weird Will Smith thing in which he looks at the ocean all sad or something instead.”)

“I should’ve gone to Marley & Me. I bet that was more cheerful, and I know for a fact the dog dies in that movie!”

“Why the hell was it called Seven Pounds? Oh, crap, wait, that’s why….”

“I came for Will Smith, I stayed for the jellyfish.”

“Woody Harrelson was good in it. I think he was in it. That was Woody Harrelson, right? I like Woody Harrelson.”

“The Watchmen trailer looked cool.”

Seven Pounds was a pop culture phenomenon. Everyone was going at least five times and bringing their friends. Fans were cosplaying as the jellyfish. It was from the director of another hit, The Pursuit of Happyness, who directed The Pursuit of Happyness along with a bunch of other films you have literally never heard of. Due to creative differences within Sony, the pitched sequel Eight Pounds sadly never came to be.

Seven Pounds has an incredibly loyal fanbase, as you can see from these YouTube comments, which actually are real…

“Anything Will plays in, makes you go hmm and this surely needs to click for sure! Great movie Will and can watch it over and over and over again!”

“I’ve always loved that movie kind of remind me of me I never been selfish and in the love way”

“Will smith is the best ever ,he is not a copy of anyone he is so ,so Will …”

“i think this is the worst episode of prince of bel air ever…”

Have a great night, Avocados! Also, if there are any POUNDERS (fans of Seven Pounds) out there? What are your favorite quotes from the movie?