Today is Squeep’s fifth birthday — hooray! Squeep (real name Olivia, though she has never been called that in all her five years) is not my cat, but I have somehow become her chronicler. There are worse jobs. After all, she was awfully cute when found only a few days old behind a Target, the only survivor of her litter:

Luckily for her, she was found by my friend Boris, who raised her up to a healthy, happy, deeply weird cat. She’s, well, not always as cute as she used to be,

but she tries:

She is also highly suspicious of her back feet and tail and will attack them without provocation, making frankly insane noises as she does so; I would post a video, but Boris won’t let me, as I guess it’s actually a neurological issue — which is probably what happens when one is birthed at Target and is still pretty funny to see, but one mustn’t laugh at Squeep.

For real, though, Squeepers is one of a kind and has had a much better roughly 1,822 days than her first few days on this Earth. Not everyone celebrates Easter and Passover and such, but everyone can celebrate Squeep Day!

Happy Squeep Day, Avocados! Have a great Day Thread!