The Junior Kaironaut Day Thread

Greetings, Junior Kaironauts!

As an eager young explorer of the time streams, you know that the Bureau of Panchronic Affairs has extensively catalogued and classified alternate timelines for nearly 50 years (as years are measured in Timeline Aleph-Echad), and you’ve no doubt studied some of the more common Beams at the academy.

Today’s QuickFax™ update is about three less common Beams, but dangerous ones! If your initial research when arriving in a Beam reveals any of the following facts about their POD, you should immediately flag those coordinates and *move on immediately*

Deanlines – In these Beams, United States of America actor James Byron Dean did not die in September of 1955 and gave up his acting career following the experience. These Beams are notoriously unstable and prone to runaway Fractalization. One notorious Beam saw Mr. Dean become 37th President of the United States of America in 1960 and by 2022 (local timeline), this Beam had not only destructively self-Fractalized, but it brought about the destructive self-Fractalization of at least two neighboring Beams! It remains unclear why Mr. Dean seems to be such a destabilizing force, but until further research can occur, steer clear!

Mythoslines – In these Beams, early 20th century author Howard Phillips Lovecraft was not an author of weird fiction. Literally any other career is a red flag! Inevitably, these Beams are home to Barrow Scale VI entities that are monstrous, inhuman in thought and morality, and often somehow still malicious towards humanity. These Beams are not immanent threats to the structure of the Weave like Deanlines, but prolonged stays by untrained personnel are known to be hazardous to mental and physical health!

Trumplines – In these Beams, late 20th century media personality Donald John Trump is elected to the Presidency of the United States of America. While President Trump is rarely a direct cause, this POD is always a signifier of long-term dystopic decay in this Beam. They inevitably, unpredictably, drift into worse scenarios. Premature human extinction is the most common result, but worse outcomes have been recorded.

What could be worse than premature human extinction, you ask? That’s a QuickFax™ update for another time!