The Weekend Politics Thread Gimmicks Up a Gimcrack

♫ It’s happy hour again
I think I might be happy if I wasn’t out with them
And they’re happy it’s a lovely place to be
Happy that the fire is real the barman is a she ♫
Have a drink on me. 1 Careful you don’t crash on the barrelhead after ordering round and rounds.

After two years down with the sickness, we teeter on the eve of destruction as tens of millions live like a refugee.2 Consumer prices have shot up, and no one of good conscience dare take their eyes and minds off the avalanche of legislation criminalizing the youngest and most-vulnerable among us for their sex and gender.

So, who has got the time for a Weekend Politics Thread header on any other topic? Allow Uvular to disabuse your notions what merits discussion. Permit him to devote the present epistle to the most pressing issue of all: sin tax.

Look, no one enjoys working for the weekend only to have the daggum gubmint emptying your pockets simply because you smoked your last cigarette and need to replace the pack. So, indulge the impulse to yell, “Stop the world, I wanna get off with you!” before you meander down a crooked path with your sober as a judge Uvular,

Come Monday, Uve will have spent a full eight years refraining from drinking alcohol. He shared his story of hitting rock bottom on this very website a few years back.

On this particular page, he devotes 12 paragraphs to the subject of why liquor, beer, and wine and beer costs just that bit much more they should. And he does so while interspersing 29 on-point song titles.

Why? Because all numbers matter. But mostly because this post posts on the 12th day of a month and eight years equals 2,922 days. Factor down that larger integer3 and we arrive at a manageable, if still insufferably precious, amount of links.

Plus, Alcoholic Anonymous’s Steps 2 and 5-7 echo the opening and closing verses of Psalm 29.4 Check it:5

AA StepsPsalm 29: 1, 11 NIV
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
1Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength …
11The Lord gives strength to his people;
the Lord blesses his people with peace

Reflective of March slotting in as the third month of the Gregorian calendar, only three points will make complete sense. Right! On with the show.

In the United States, the federal taxman assesses an excise on alcohol. Distillers, vintners and brewers pay by the barrel before their product ever leaves the warehouse. Drinkers like you and me then pay sales tax at the register. Taking home that ice cold ice-brewed lager will set a Virginia toper back an additional 2.5 cents per 12-ounce bottle or can. Bottles and jugs of distilled spirits come with 20 percent of list price tacked on, and wine gets marked up by an additional 6 percent (without so much as refundable deposit on the box). The rapacious revenuers at the Alcoholic Beverage Control Authority then use the revenue to operate ABC stores.

In fairness, a fair share of the beverage tax goes into the state general fund. Where it pays for, um, wonderful things and crummy stuff. Details of biennial appropriations go beyond the scope of this already unwieldy whorl of WPT windbaggery.

Your milled grain or mulled grape mileage most definitely varies by the location of your purchase. Oh, but ain’t that America, paying for big for pink elephants on parade instead of for little pink houses for you and me? Not that Uvular dare not delve into the vagaries of taxation anywhere outside of his country. Still, the principle of charging people to give themselves a chemical charge appears to apply universally and across all forms of legal mood- and mind-altering consumables. Colorado, for instance, collected $432 million in cash from cannabis sales during 2021. Quite a lot of baksheesh on the hashish, you know?

Which finally brings Uvular to the ledge of his lament. Virginia lawmaker refuse to greenlight retail cannabis shops. They did legalize it, but the cowards in the capital of the Confederacy continue to criticize it. C’mon legislators! Let ol’ Uve resume paying sin taxes. Do the bean counters in Richmond even realize how much money they lost once your clearheaded WPT host put down the whiskey bottle and found himself forced to weather four years of a Trump administration followed by prevailing of Glenn Youngkin putsch without so much as the assistance of the Green-Eyed Lady, lovely lady? The end.6