In This Weekly Video Games Thread’s Hand, Anything Is a Weapon

Happy Monday, happy November, and happy Weekly Video Games Thread to you all!

At present (i.e. the night before this Thread’s publication) I’m watching Hitman, the 2007 adaptation of gaming’s greatest murder simulator. And while it’s an atrocious and unpleasant piece of work, it does do one thing right: it makes me think of the actually good Hitman games. And those are games that are demented and psychotic and funny and smart. And they’re oh so good at making weapons out of inconspicuous tools. Sports equipment, taxidermy, even starfish; there’s something exciting about moving away from traditional guns and knives.

And this makes me think of a grisly and perhaps grim prompt: what are some of your favorite unexpected tools used to kill someone in a game? Mine is probably that starfish, but Hitman has plenty of others. And remember, this is “tools used to kill someone,” not “tools you use to kill someone.” Because Ace Attorney has… dear god, Ace Attorney has some wild ones (such as, totally random example, poisoned postage stamps). Consider this less a celebration of violence than a fun tribute to the way games try to imagine murder and mystery stories.

In the meantime, what have you played this weekend?