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Mitch Hedberg’s Birthday Day Thread (February 24, 2021)

Of course it would be exceedingly strange if The Avocado hadn’t had an Open Thread to celebrate Mitch Hedberg at least once, but the last one was way back in 2018. And besides, he was born on this day in 1968 and that’s worth celebrating!

What are your most beloved Hedberg jokes? Here are some of my favourites:

“I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.”

“I wish all my clothes were made out of blankets. That way, if I fall asleep with my clothes on, f#!kin’ A, I’m tucked in.”

“Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as s!#t.”

“My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the f#!k’s really going on down there? Who is the real hero?”

Have a great day, everyone!