Explodin’ Whale 2: Taiwan Boogaloo Day Thread

Warning: Most of these pictures are very graphic!

In January 2004, a mortally wounded Sperm Whale beached on the shore near Tainan City, Taiwan. The 60-ton 56-foot-long bull, it was later determined, had been struck by a large passing ship across the back, severing its spine near the fluke. As he lay dying on the Taiwanese beach, the whale, it seems, swore a blood oath of revenge against the humanity that had felled him.

WE MUST AVENGE OUR HUMPBAC…. oh wait, did you say “Sperm Whale”? Sorry, yeah, that’s, um, not our department

Marine Biologist Professor Wang Chien-ping of the nearby National Cheng Kung University in Tainan wanted to perform an immediate necropsy on the rapidity decomposing whale, but city officials ordered the beast, which was the largest whale ever to beach in Taiwan, to be removed from the beach post-haste. After Professor Wang’s own intuition denied his requests to bring the whale there, the decision was made to bring it to Shi-Tsao Natural Preserve; a little further away.

I wonder if it will be friends with me?

On January 29th the operation to transport the carcass was put in to action . Three huge cranes were brought in to lift the giant whale onto a flatbed truck. As word got around the city, hundreds of spectators started to gather around to watch; food vendors set up shops to sell snacks and hot beverages to workers and onlookers on the chilly winter day. Many of the crowd had come to gawk at one notable part of the whale’s anatomy; its five foot long penis. After 13 hours the whale was securely on the back of the truck and the journey to the Shi-Tsao Natural Preserve, through busy Taiwanese streets, had begun…

You load 60 tons, what do you get?

… It hadn’t gotten very far when… POP!… without any warning the dead whale spontaneously burst open sending whale innards outwards in all directions! In an instant an entire city block was showered with great red gobs of greasy grimy sperm whale guts by the sheer force of the blast. Spectators, oblivious passersby, storefronts, restaurants, and cars were all covered in the blood, guts, and blubber that continuously spewed from the whale carcass. Of course there was also the horrible smell, a putrid nauseating smell that blanketed the entire area and beyond.

The ONE time I find a fucking parking space downtown!
Exploding Dead Whales 2 – Cars 0

With an entire city block now a Blasted Heath of Sperm Whale gore, locals began the unenviable task of cleaning up the carnage. Scrubbing every nook and cranny for whale bits, it took days to fully clean up the mess. The horrible smell was said to have lingered for months after the explosion; some say you can still smell dead whale to this day

Pssst… You’re gonna need a bigger hose

Professor Wang and his crew were able to put most of the sperm whale Humpty Dumpty back together again and eventually brought the whale to the nature preserve for the postmortem. The exact cause of the explosion is still not really known. It’s thought that the pressure of the gassy build-up within the whale’s abdomen/stomach and bacterial organisms stemming from the decomposition at the fluke wound were mixed by the jostling of the corpse during the extraction/transportation. This combination created a highly volatile 60-ton 56-foot long sperm whale bomb; the perfect instrument of cetacean vengeance

The probability of this occurring was 8,767,128 to 1 against

While the necropsy was being carried out, curious onlookers, despite being blasted with the whale’s blubber a short time earlier, still flocked to the Shi-Tsao Natural Preserve; mostly to view the whale’s penis. After the examinations were finished Professor Wang oversaw a project to use the giant whale up as permanent exhibit. Since 2005, the whale’s skeleton along with some of it’s organs have been on display at the preserve. The exhibit now stands a as warning of the full explosive power of the mighty sperm whale, and also to catch a glimpse of its penis; which, of course, was also preserved.

He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker