everybody’s favorite underworld deity, orcus!
he might be horkos, or dis pater, or pluto! or hades! or just his own lovely etruscan self! depends on who and when you ask! he might be where the word “ogre” comes from! who knows?! all that matters is that a donation as little as twenty five cents a day to me — a servant of orcus — can save you from orcus (hell, hades)
hell is a weird concept. know what else is a weird concept? me neither, i’m kinda just lost writing this right now but you could probably tell that, you smart and adept reader, you!