The Powerpuff Girls to become “disillusioned young adults” in live-action TV series

1998’s The Powerpuff Girls was quite possibly one of the best cartoon shows of a decade full of great ones, a hilarious twist on the superhero genre with adorable pint-size heroines who were more than capable of unleashing merciless violence on their enemies. In the unlikely event that you’ve never heard of them, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup were born as the accidental result of an experiment by a kindly scientist who made them with sugar, spice, everything nice, and Chemical X.

Of course, it’s 2020, which means we have the news that the kindergarten-aged characters are now going to grow up in an upcoming live-action series which will, of course, air on CW, the go-to network for edgy revamps of classic properties. Not only are they going to be adults but The Powerpuff Girls are also going to be “disillusioned young adults” who are bitter over the fact that they never had a childhood because they spent it crime-fighting. Sure, they seemed to have a ton of fun every time they went out to stop bank robbers or Mojo Jojo’s inevitably doomed schemes, but where’s the Hot Topic-worthy content in that?

The reboot/sequel/seqboot/requeel comes to us from Diablo Cody of Juno and Jennifer’s Body fame, so expect for “what the shiz!” to become Buttercup’s new catchphrase and for Bubbles to make a point of mentioning that she has a hamburger phone (actually, I shouldn’t be mean; Juno and Jennifer’s Body were both pretty good movies). And since this is The CW–a network that brought murder mysteries to fucking Archie of all things–look for Fuzzy Lumpkins to wear a MAGA hat and for the Gangreen Gang to be misunderstood drug addicts.

The Powerpuff Girls: Shiz Gets Real is currently without a premiere date, but in the meantime, if you want more PPG, you can always check out the current animated reboot. Or don’t…