“Dad’s Avocados” is the 13th episode of the 5th Season of the USAmerican television situation comedy Dad’s Casa. The episode is a comedy of errors involving alligators, lawyers, air duct companies, and avocados. Alligator pear is an obsolete term for an avocado.
Dad and Horatio are drinking beer in a bar. Horatio tells Dad about the Fruit of the Month Club that he joined. “It’s great. This month is avocados”, says Horatio. Dad says he’ll try it. Carmella and the kids were visiting her mother that weekend, so the next night, Dad stays up late watching an old movie on tv and falls asleep on the couch. Dad’s awakened by an unearthly crash. He looks outside and sees two overturned trucks at the intersection, broken cases, many, many avocados, and a pair of alligators. Dad calls 911, makes breakfast and then puts on the tv. “Oh hey, the Casa’s on tv”, Dad says to himself. The cops tell Dad that the avocado truck driver was making a delivery to the Casa. Dad tells them he was expecting one case of avocados. “I’d call a lawyer if I was you”, says one. Dad is quite angry over this situation and looks in the Yellow Pages for a lawyer. The first listing is ‘The Law Firm of Avocado and Avocado’. Dad dials. “Air Ventilation Cleaning and Disposal, or Avocado, Sully speaking, how may I help you?” ” Uh, I must have misdialled, I wanted a law firm.” “Oh yeah, happens a lot. We’re 555-1234. You want 555-1235.” “Oh thanks.” “Don’t mention it.” Dad dials. “The Law Firm of Avocado and Avocado. Nosotros hablamos español. Crystal speaking. How may I help you?” “Uh yeah, I’d like to hire a lawyer.” “Criminal or civil?” “It’s…a long story…turn on Channel 4.” “…Sir?” “I’m very serious.” Dad waits. “Oh, dear God” “Yep” “I’ll get someone right away.” “Thank you, Crystal.” “Johnny Avocado here, we’ll take your case and don’t worry about a fee.” “Great, thanks, Mr. Avocado.” Eventually, the trucks are towed away, the ruined avocados and broken boxes are removed, and the alligators are subdued, re-captured, and taken away. Fortunately, one of the cases survived. Sunday afternoon, Dad is sitting in the living room, watching a football game on tv, drinking beer and eating chips with guacamole. Carmella, Junior, and the twins (Anna and Beth), enter. Carmella asks: “How was your weekend dear?” “Pretty quiet.”