Hey everyone! Wow, what an exciting month September turned out to be, eh? Tons, and I mean TONS, of games came out that I’m sure you’ve all played and beaten by now, right? Right?! I was really busy with work this whole week (and even the weekend), so I’m going to try and lightning round this mother. Here we go…

Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age (Switch) – Releases Sep. 27^th

*This is the same thing I wrote last time the game came out, except I’ve updated some of the text to apply to this current release* After being released in Japan in 2017, and PC & PS4 in 2018, the latest entry in the Dragon Quest series is finally coming to the Nintendo Switch, so say we all (so say we all). Unlike Final Fantasy, which transitioned into a more quasi-modern sci-fi setting, Dragon Quest has proudly stayed in the high fantasy realm. In this entry you play as a young villager who must complete a coming-of-age passage to determine if he is a man or not. Hijinks ensue.

Contra: Rogue Corps (PC/PS4/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Sep. 24^th

Man, those graphics are hella fugly, but the game at least looks fun…or maybe it doesn’t, I don’t know. At least there’s a panda bear. I do wish this was a side scrolling affair and not a third person shooter.

Mario Kart Tour (Android/iOS) – Releases Sep. 25^th

Okay, for reals this time, Nintendo has finally made a good mobile game. All they had to do was make an exact copy of one of their already hit console games, but with microtransactions! This looks, for all intents and purposes, like a legitimate Mario Kart game with you picking your character and kart, then racing against people online. I’m sure it’ll have timers and gates like all these mobile titles have, but the game will probably be fun. Hey, if you just wanna stare at your phone and wave it around in public like a dickhead, who am I judge? You *clap* do *clap* you! *clap*

Code Vein (PC/PS4/Xbox One) – Releases Sep. 27^th

I thought this was a JRPG, but it looks more like Monster Hunter or Toukiden or God Eater, or what’s that new game that all the streamers are going ape shit for, Remnant? I was pretty excited about this when it was first announced but, eh, I think I’ll pass for now.

FIFA 20 (PC/PS4/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Sep. 27^th

I wonder what they’re going to do with these sports games when the same year they’ve already released a game for comes back around. Like in the year 2120 will the game still be called FIFA 20? #foodforthought

Ports and Re-releases:

Dead By Daylight (Switch) – Releases Sep. 24^th

After terrorizing your friends on PC, PS4 and XBone, you can now terrorize them on the Switch with the asymmetrical online horror game Dead By Daylight. The goal of the game is simple, the killer must murder the survivors, and the survivors must escape. It’s the ultimate digital hide & seek game, now on the go (if you feel like tethering to your phone and using mobile data while riding the bus).

Star Wars – Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast (PS4/Switch) – Releases Sep. 24^th

This classic PC game, graphical warts and all, is now coming to PS4 and Switch to make you go, “Wow, games used to look really bad“. Are the controls also as bad as you remember? Probably.

Dragon Quest I, II & III (Switch) – Releases Sep. 27^th

The first three Dragon Quest games are being released on the Switch to coincide with the release of part XI. Look, if you’re going to play all four of these then you’ll need to set a schedule and likely quit your job. I’ve already told my wife and kid that they’re going to come second to these and I expect you to do the same to your loved ones; it’s the only way.

Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition (Switch) – Releases Sep. 27^th

When is Halo coming to the Switch?

 

Expansions:

Rage 2: Rise of the Ghosts (PC/PS4/Xbox One) – Releases Sep. 26^th

Rage 2, one of the shittiest shooters from earlier this year, is getting some DLC. Why, you ask; because we deserve this, that’s why. This is our fault.

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: Curse of the Vampire (Switch) – Releases Sep. 30^th

I tried to play this game, I really did, but I just go so bored with it. Will having the chance to play as Morbius the living vampire change my attitude? Tune in next week…

 

Everything else:

Cat Quest II (PC) – Releases Sep. 24^th, (console versions coming later this Fall)

This looks hella cute; I’ll never play it.

The Surge 2 (PC/PS4/Swtch) – Releases Sep. 24^th

I’m not sure why I’m promoting a old soft drink in the Tuesday New Games column, but here we are. It’s gamer fuel!

The Executioner (PC) – Releases Sep. 25^th

I’m getting some We. The Revolution vibes from this game in which you play a public executioner. You decide who lives and dies in this gritty narrative adventure game; I shouldn’t have eaten that burrito from the gas station. It’s not sitting well…

 

Notable Releases from 10, 20 and 30 years ago:

So here I am, growing older all the time,
Looking older all the time,
Feeling younger in my mind.
So here I am, doing everything I can,
Holding on to what I have,
Pretending I’m a superman!

Dragon Quest Wars (Nintendo DS) – Released Sep. 28^th, 2009: Wiki Link

Continuing the Dragon Quest theme, this week’s game from ten years ago is a, likely, forgotten title from the Nintendo DS’ DSiWare service (now called the eShop). In Dragon Quest Wars, you gather a team of monsters and have them fight against up to four opponents’ teams on a battle grid, similar to Final Fantasy Tactics and Fire Emblem. The game received pretty positive reviews when it was released, and Nintendo Power magazine even nominated it for Game of the Year (seriously; her?), but I’m not so sure it has resonated with the public at large, although I really have no idea since I didn’t own a DSi at the time, or even care about portable gaming. I was very surprised to learn that the game’s released for the DSiWare store are still available for purchase on the 3DS’ eShop; in fact the image above is my personal 3DS running a copy of the game. Will I play it? Maybe…probably not.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater (PlayStation) – Released Sep. 29^th, 1999: Wiki Link

Before Neversoft started working on the Guitar Hero series for Activision, they were best known as the developers behind what is probably the most successful skateboarding video game franchise of all time, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater. While Neversoft stopped working on Tony Hawk games in 2007, their development on the first title would go on to launch skateboarding, and extreme sports sub genre as a whole, into the mainstream. With the success of the Vans Warped Tour, and pop-punk groups like Blink-182 and The Offspring, reaching a bigger and bigger audience, it seemed that the summer of 1999 really solidified “punk” culture in the mainstream with the release of Blink’s Enema of the State at the beginning, and THPS closing it out. Seeing an emerging market, Activision tasked Neversoft with coming up with a game to compete with Sega’s Top Skater and EA’s Street Sk8er, but the sports genre was not something they were familiar with, having been used to making third person action games like the Bruce Willis starring Apocalypse. Taking the engine from the game, and borrowing design elements from Top Skater, the team at Neversoft began to put the game together, eschewing real world locations for environments that are “inspired” by real world locations such as a school, a mall, a warehouse, etc. While they dabbled with making the game realistic, spending time watching skaters perform tricks and mimicking their moves in the digital space, Neversoft decided that the game should prioritize fun over realism, and gave players a more cartoon-like or super hero-esque version of these skaters. The real tricks were in there, but pulling them off and chaining them was something that no real human could ever do, and made the game a ton of fun to play. Fun aside, Activision wasn’t sure that players would go for another generic skateboarding game, so as with previous sports games they got a real life skater to be the face of the franchise; enter Tony Hawk.

By 1999, Tony Hawk was arguably the most famous skater in the world. His tricks were some of the most incredible that the skating world had seen, and his successful attempt of a 900 just three months earlier in June of 1999 made him a worldwide sensation. During production of the game, Activision invited Hawk to demo the game and he came away impressed with both how fun the game was and how much it seemed to respect skateboarding culture. Activision initially offered Hawk a one-time lump sum fee to use his likeness in perpetuity, but, perhaps sensing the coming wave, declined the offer and instead took a royalty deal, which in the immediate aftermath got him less money, but within two years he would make ten times the amount of money than what Activision initially offered him. With Tony Hawk on board (he was officially announced in January, 1999) he was able to enlist other pro skaters to join the game and allow use of their likenesses. Hawk would also provide gameplay tips to Neversoft, including things like how tricks should look. When the game finally released it was an overnight success, shipping 350,000 units by the end of December, 1999. Soon kids aged 14 to 40 were blasting punk rock and ska tunes from their bedrooms, doing sick trick after sick trick, trying in vain to find every video tape and spell out the word “Skate”. This game dropped at just the right time for me; I was a little poseur punk kid from Southern California, blasting Blink-182 and Less Than Jake from my stereo, going to local punk shows and video taping my friend doing skateboard tricks since sometime in the middle of 1998. After school we’d sit around and play Tony Hawk, watch MTV (making fun of it, duh), and frost the tips of our spikey punk rock hair. I had a blast playing this game and it’s myriad sequels, and it had a profound impact on my life, and I imagine many other young people of its day.

I was so crazy!! PUNK ROCK!!!

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (NES) – Released Sep. 1989: Wiki Link

Man, talk about your 180’s. We go from talking about one of the best games of all time to one of the absolute worst of all time, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, from the good folks at LJN and, this can’t be right, Rare?! Well, you can at least say the game looks pretty, but other than that, this is a complete mess of a game; something so bad that I would rather play last week’s 30 year old title, Fester’s Quest. This sort of adventure, sort of action, sort of platforming game is an absolute slog to play through, devoid of any kind of fun whatsoever. I guess I can commend Rare for trying something different, they could have just made it a side scrolling platformer with Roger jumping on hats that had come to life, or frogs, or whatever other bullshit enemies most movie tie-in video games would have you avoid. Making this an adventure game with you searching for clues in various locations was at least an interesting idea, but they made doing it so boring, tedious and finicky that I gave up after only about 15 laborious minutes. Do yourself a favor folks, unless you’re a die hard Roger Rabbit fan, just skip past this one.

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I couldn’t leave without posting this: