After getting that touch of murder out of your system, you assemble the assorted Rafto-Hovnatanian Cinematic Universe players and DMPCs so you can tell them what’s going on. There’s a moment of tense quiet as everyone shuffles onto the boat’s deck. 

Once everyone’s settled, someone wearing a SEARS nametag with the name “bERK” on it asks, “Can I start by asking why you fell from the sky, instead of walking in? Was this a time travel situation? Did you follow the Three C’s of time travel?”

It was not a time travel situation, you explain. Instead of reiterating your entire journey for you here, I’ll say you answer any pertinent questions honestly, and explain your meeting with what some of you may be inclined to call a disappointed God.

You’re expecting existential dread, but you’re met with nods of understanding.

Paisley, a chipper woman who called herself a ghost hunter, clarifies. “We all know we’re living in a game based on Werewolf games anyway. You’ve just introduced us to the second layer.” You learn that the RHCU is its own cinematic universe inside of the WWCU. Cinema-ception!

Lieutenant Trout stands, clearing her throat. She addresses the RHCU natives. “Tthese people need help to defeat Disqus. We’ve seen a few games played already, and we can fight just as well as they can! Maybe we should help?”

“We already tried to bring people with us,” interrupts & Brown, speaking in less-than-perfect English for just a minute, Thoughts!!!, “But they weren’t able to use the portal Owen opened for us.”

“You said you only tried to bring players, though. Why not bring us? We’re just mod avatars within the games; there might be different rules for us.”

The disembodied teenaged voice answers for you. “I couldn’t take players from their games, but you guys aren’t actually playing anything right now! It just might work. Oh, by the way, I’m the Owen they were talking about. Hi. I’m 17 and I’m a huge nerd.”

The RHCU natives politely direct their hellos towards the sky.

“Right now, the main goal is to kill off the Disqus agents in this group, and hopefully fight Disqus itself once we’ve gotten rid of them.” Owen opens the portal in the boat’s deck, at a respectable distance from you. “Whenever you’re ready, just jump in.”

“No day like today, right guys!” announces Lt. Trout, dragging Clive Gumm towards the portal.

“No, absolutely not. No one from the American government is going to tell me what to do,” replies Clive, shaking off Trout’s hand. “Besides, no one’s died yet.”

“What the fuck do you mean, “no one’s died yet”?” asks several Veronicas in unison.

On cue, Sloan Dukane collapses dramatically and beautifully to the ground, all of the color sucked out of her body.

LibraryLass (Sloan Dukane) has died. She came from The Medium Place, and was Glenn, the biter (Vanilla Wolf).

The Veronicas sigh and huck the body overboard. “Anyone else?”

You all look around for a second, and nothing happens. Everyone gives each other a big thumbs up, and moves towards the portal. You then realize that The Luggage is fading out of existence, flickering white as it goes. Its final act as a living, breathing(?) luggage is to eat a chair.

Forget_it_jake (Geoff as The Luggage) has died. She was a normal citizen of the Werewolf Cinematic Universe (Vanilla Town).

“Anyone else?!” asks Paisley. You’re all pretty sure that you should be expecting a third murder, probably a super cool and sneaky one that is both well-written and memorable. However, one of you doesn’t chop off anyone’s hands. So you have that going for you.

Lt. Trout half nudges, half kicks Clive in, and backflips in after him. A good portion of the Veronicas jump in, followed by all of the members of the Dehaunters, then Dr. Berk Smøps. Gert Rafto watches them fall, then steps away.

Several daffy yet well-intentioned authority figures have joined the party! This has no effect other than flavor.

The rest of you hop into the portal as well, keeping a careful eye on the RHCU folks. 

Owen breaks the tension by saying, “It looks like they’re here to stay! Welcome to the team, guys! And, uh, sorry for what I’m about to put you through. I promise there was no other choice, this is the only game for quite some distance that could handle the chaos of this team.”

You pop out in front of a statue of a smug-looking man holding a stack of books. You can’t read the inscription on the bottom, but it sure seems important. Some of you look away from the statue to find a group of people screaming at each other in a code you can’t decipher.

Someone uses the word “just” in a sentence, and someone screams “VIOLATION!” at them. An important looking man with a monocle and dashing tan suit high fives that player, and they begin to use the letter T in their statements.

Welcome to Werewolf 66: Ella Minnow Pea.

This’ll teach you fucks to post less than 400 comments.

The letters Z, Q, J, and X are banned to all users. 

Players may not use forbidden letters in their posts. You are also not allowed to use asterisks or other symbols to fill in for missing letters.

Your QTs are safe havens, in which you may speak freely without fear of reprisal from the Town Council.

Democracy is very important to Nollopians, and voting is mandatory. If you do not vote, an NPC Nollopian will cast a random vote in your place. Ties will be decided by a randomly-chosen player not involved in the tie.

Broken rules may result in loss of vote, role-blocking, silencing, or in extreme cases, death.

Snitching is fun! And encouraged! If you see another player using a forbidden letter, call them out! Players get bonuses for successful snitching.

Please make at least five posts today. You cannot avoid the letter police by not posting.

Please use the modern English alphabet for your posts. Players cannot get around the rules by posting in Greek or Cyrillic. Common contractions and abbreviations are allowed, as are phonetic substitutions (saying “selery” for “celery”, for example).

Thank you to Colonel Mustard for writing these rules, which I took verbatim to avoid any loopholes.

SPECIAL ROLES

Journalist: A town player who may grant a one-shot “Freedom of Speech” power to another player. Players who use their “Freedom of Speech” may ignore the rules regarding forbidden letters the next Day.

Pedant: A Wolf that may select a target. The targeted player will have an extra forbidden letter to avoid the next Day.

If the Journalist and the Pedant target the same person, whoever targets them first will be able to use their power. Whoever targets them second will be told to pick another player.

Twilight is on Monday, September 16, at 9 PM EST. Good luck!