The Night Thread slips on a pair of guacamole kicks (8/20)

So let’s leave the drama of the Day Thread behind and look at something bland, inoffensive, and shoe-based: themed sneakers.

It’s an innovation for today’s Instagram age.  Fresh kicks have become more and more the rage for Instagrammers who wish to remain somewhat anonymous…  but have no problem photographing the floor beneath them.  Shoe choices communicate to the whole world their style and personalities.  We now have gamer shoes (one, depressingly, with the “EA Sports” logo), Dragonball Z shoes, shoes featuring Chinese graffiti art, Kyrie Irving’s Spongebob shoes for adults, Kyrie Irving’s cereal-inspired shoes, sneakers based on Toy Story, etc.

Not gonna lie, kinda jonesin’ for these kicks.

I didn’t think that sneakers would be a vehicle for nostalgia, but here we are.

Saucony decided to enter the game with food-based shoes.  I imagine that there’s a marketing exec over at Saucony, a running shoe company, who is haunted in her dreams by one question: “What if shoes… were food?”

Among my favorites of past versions are the ones based on lobsters (which alludes to the company’s Massachusetts origins) and astronaut ice cream.

There are others based on burgers, bacon and eggs, and pumpkin spice. A tribute to mustard is coming out later this year.  However, they outdid themselves earlier this year with the “saucamole.”


Based on the rad-sounding Phantom 6000 shoe line, the Saucamole plays around with materials to a greater extent than the previous versions.  The mudguard and heels are made of a brown suede.  Meanwhile, the three-circled Saucony logo is printed on the pit of a special avocado logo on the tongue.  There’s even a lovely color accent on the insole: the avocado green is paired with tiny flecks of red to resemble pepper flakes you might find in a guacamole. It looks like it also comes with extra laces also meant to resemble pepper flakes.

It’s a work of art.  Goddamn I just want to eat these shoes!

I mean wear.

Wear these shoes.

… You know, maybe not that last part.  I’d never want to ever get these shoes dirty.  I’d probably display these for fellow collectors to admire in a special shoe closet.