Avocado Weekly Movie Thread (5/7)

This week will see a Nintendo video game character, who is known for an exclamatory catchphrase, navigate a cyberpunk world where the citizens are evolved from things like lizard creatures or vegetables. A no… it’s not a Super Mario movie.

Movieverse King Koopa and Goombas.

In 1993, children everywhere were thrilled that their favorite Italian stereotype and his brother from the Super Mario Brothers games were finally going to make it to the big screen! There was going to be pipes. There was going to be King Koopa… as a human. There was going to be Princess Pe-… Daisy. And… lots of mold.

So why did the movie turn out the way it did? This is the question at the forefront of every 90’s kids’ minds.  Wax it another script that got rewritten with Super Mario Brothers characters? Was it nervous movie producers who didn’t think video game characters could succeed in film and pushed for more realism?  Were the directors taking perhaps a few too many magic mushrooms?

Blame Tim Burton’s Batman movie and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Dark takes on children’s properties were in, man! We forget sometimes that the Joker was known as a colorful guy with themed deathtraps, and1989 saw him be a grinning psychopath.  Or that Batman was a guy who went out of his way to save ducks from a large cartoon bomb, and now her was Sir Murderman.  That stuff don’t fly in the 90’s no more!  Get outta here, you adorable chestnuts with legs, and make way for tiny-headed lizard men!

Anyway, everyone working on the movie was apparently quite miserable. Even though Bob Hoskins didn’t have any idea what movie he was working on, his kid showed him the game and clued him in. Oh, the disappointment he must have felt. The disappointment and shame.

This ain’t no game!

I leave you with this great anecdote by Dennis Hopper. His kid asked… why was in in that terrible Super Mario Bros. movie? “Well, Henry I did that so you could have shoes,” he said. Henry replied, “Dad, I don’t need shoes that badly.”

This week’s prompt: What is the best video game movie to date, and why is it Mortal Kombat?

If it is not Mortal Kombat… is it a non-existent game that nevertheless takes familiar elements, such as Ready Player One?

Is it Alicia Vikander and/or Angelina Jolie raiding our hearts with Tomb Raider?

Is it the late, great Raul Julia chewing the scenery and our hearts with Street Fighter?

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within with its ground-breaking CGI?

Uwe Boll’s House of the Dead? Postal? In the Name of the King?

As always, let’s talk movies that might not have anything to do with electric rats voiced by Ryan Reynolds.

Avocado Movie Reviews:

Building Entertainment: The Animated Films of the Walt Disney Studio. Live-action edition. In Search of the Castaways

LGBT Movies: Friends Forever (1987)

Millennial Malaise 17: Mallrats

Netflix Garage: 1 Chance 2 Dance Recap/Review

WTF ASIA 54: In The Mood For Love (2000)