We’re a week away from the final season of Game of Thrones, so I thought it was time for one big adventure in Muppet Casting! As you might notice, I am not Raven, who previously ran this fun feature weekly. But when they gave their blessing for anyone who wanted to take their shot at Muppet Casting, so here I am with this one-off, hoping I live up to Raven’s standard of quality casting. There are a lot of GOT characters, and I had a lot of ideas, so this cast list runs a bit long.
(And, um, expect possible spoilers for the whole show to this point?)
Kermit the Frog as Ned Stark – Okay, so the tripping point with the premise of this post is… it’s a bit dark mixing the Muppets with all this death. But Kermit is the only Muppet who could embody the Ned Starks’ role as the (short-lived) moral center of the show.
Miss Piggy as Cersei Lannister – Miss Piggy as the meanest Queen of the Seven Kingdoms is an obvious fit. Maybe play up some romantic chemistry when Ned and Cersei have their Season 1 confrontation?
Link Hogthrob as Jaime Lannister – Has the look (conventionally attractive yet punchable face) down more than anything. But the twin pigs aspect is also convenient.
Gonzo the Great as Jon Snow– Gonzo is an outsider with some confusion about his own origins- which sort of fits Jon’s role as the “bastard” of the Stark family. And Jon does tend to stupidly risk death a lot. See his tribute to Leeroy Jenkins.
Camilla the Chicken as Daenerys Targaryen – Gonzo as Jon also tees up this feathery casting perfectly for the eventual ship. Maybe some would rearrange this so Miss Piggy plays the willful Dany and Kermit the heroic Jon – but I just dig the joke of the Mother of Dragons being a Chicken.
Fozzie Bear as Tyrion Lannister – Maybe Fozzie as one of the Bear Sigiled characters would have worked, but who else could replicate Tyrion’s comical wit?
Skeeter as Arya Stark AND Janice as Sansa Stark – Bringing Skeeter into live-action to play Arya makes sense, but Janice/Sansa is admittedly just matching the remaining most noteworthy female characters from each franchise. If I moved Janice elsewhere it would be to play Melisandre- giving the Lord of Light faith a New Age spin.
Robin the Frog and Brandon Stark – Some initially find Robin cute, but many find his presence annoying. So well suited to being Bran.
Sweetums as Sandor ‘The Hound’ Clegane – Of the various larger muppets, I like Sweetums the most as the scary looking guy who reveals a softer side.
Doglion and Thog as Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane – They kept recasting the part on the show, so why not let multiple Muppets play it? I believe Thog has the size edge, but Doglion is more intimidating and has more of a brotherly resemblance to Sweetums. And his name has “dog” in it.
Dr, Bunsen Honeydew as Lord Varys AND Beaker as Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish – I thought casting Bunsen as the bald guy might lazy, but then I was hit with the idea of placing his partner in the role of Littlefinger – putting a hilarious spin on their Throne Room gossiping sessions.
Sam the Eagle of Stannis Baratheon – Sam would nail Stannis’s sense of righteousness in being a stick in the mud. Can easily him correcting people’s grammar.
Rowlf the Dog as Ser Davos Seaworth – Rowlf is surprisingly perfect for Davos – you can tell both have seen the world, but now they’re just old dogs imparting wisdom and the occasional joke, trying to stay chill despite the madness they live among.
Bobo the Bear as Jorah Mormont – Yep, I cast a bear as the Mormont of Bear Island. He works better in this part than Fozzy would, exhibiting Jorah’s tough exterior but world weariness.
Uncle Deadly as Tywin Lannister – Uncle Deadly’s design is so great for portraying Tywin’s brand of refined, intelligent villainy.
Swedish Chef as Tormund Giantsbane – You could have cast the Chef as the culinary inclined Hot Pie, but his looks give him potential as a hilarious Tormund. I didn’t find a good casting for Brienne, but perhaps you could bring in Big Bird for a pursuit that recalls their interaction in A Muppet Family Christmas?
Animal as Khal Drogo – Lots of Game of Thrones characters could stand to work on their anger management, but I think Khal Drogo just screams Animal the most.
Dr. Teeth as The Three-Eyed Raven – I can see Dr. Teeth could dropping some knowledge, and being into the whole opening your third eye thing.
Beauregard as Hodor -Sure, there’s many Mupperts of few words that you could have slotted in for Hodor, but personality wise I think Beauregard fits the mold of the simple minded stable boy best.
Pepe the King Prawn as Oberyn “The Red Viper” Martell – This feels too clear cut to require explanation
Rizzo the Rat as A Brother of the Night’s Watch -I like putting Rizzo on the Wall with Gonzo’s Jon. He doesn’t really fit Sam though, so instead he’s more an amalgamation of the various Night’s Watch buddies of questionable character. Yolanda can be an equivalent to Gilly, though.
Statler and Waldorf as Walder Frey – A man so awful it takes two to play him. I love the idea of Staler and Waldorf heckling Robb Stark at the Red Wedding.
Our Very Special Guest, Mr. Peter Dinklage as Joffrey Baratheon – At first I thought I was going to slot Dinklage into reprising Tyrion, but since I put Fozzie there, I realized the funnest idea wad to give Dinklage the chance to do another cast member’s part. And Joffrey was the one I saw Dinklage reveling in the most.
Completionist Casting – Filling out some remaining roles with Wanda as Catelyn Stark, Crazy Harry as Ramsay Bolton, Hilda as Olenna Tyrell (Not a lot of options for casting an Old Lady), Dr. Phil van Neuter as Qyburn, Scooter as Tommen Baratheon (Overly Amiable), Constantine as Jaqen H’ghar, Pops as Grand Maester Pycelle (or could he do George R.R. Martin?), Walter as Podrick Payne, Dr. Julius Strangepork as Maester Aemon, and Miss Poogy as Septa Unella (aka SHAME!)
Those are my picks for a Muppet rendition of the Game of Thrones series. What are yours?