Warwilf 87: Mystery Violence Theater 3000 – Day 1

Somewhere in outer space, a crew of space travelers was waking from coolosleep. That’s like cryosleep, except instead of fancy freezing chambers or stasis pods, you just turn the air conditioning down as low at it can go and maybe set a couple of buckets of dry ice around if you want to be fancy.

They found themselves in a crudely constructed chamber which looked something like a cross between a starship bridge and a public access TV set. A viewscreen flickered on on the fourth wall, and suddenly they were looking at a mad scientist, grinning down at them gleefully.


“Good morning, everyone,” she said. “Uncomfortable? Good. You’re probably wondering why you’re seeing stars right now. Don’t worry, it’s not a concussion—although, side note, you probably do have concussions. We hit you pretty hard with that giant novelty mallet. I probably shouldn’t have let you sleep so long, actually. Or at all.

But I digress. Yes, those are actual stars you see behind me. Welcome to low Earth orbit. My name is Hayes Forrester and you are all my test subjects. I’m going to succeed where my relatives Clayton, Pearl, and Kinga failed. I’m going to pelt you with a film festival’s worth of bad sci-fi movies and shorts until you’re all completely insane! MWA HA HA HA HA! Okay, not all of them are actually bad. Some of them are just interesting little oddities that I tracked down over the years. Some of them might be kind of…good? Well, that’s for you to decide for yourselves, in between GOING INSANE!

Oh, before we start the experiment, I probably should mention that four of you are apparently insane already. The good news is that I’m pretty sure that counts as a control group! The bad news is they’ve decided to stop the experiment by any means necessary, namely by throwing innocent victims out of the airlock until I give in and call the whole thing off. Nice try, buckos! As if that would ever happen. Anyway, I’m counting on the rest of you to find them and toss them out first, so …chop chop, okay?

Also, I picked up a little present for you, a kind of ‘sorry I kidnapped you and subjected you to experiments against your will’ sort of thing. You’re welcome. I picked it up in that shop of mystical wonders down in the strip mall and it’s the cutest little cymbal-playing monkey you’ve ever seen. I’m…not sure what happened to it, actually, but it’s up there somewhere.”

The test subjects looked around at their fellow jumpsuit-wearing prisoners. Suddenly, one of them stood up. “We don’t have to take this! I’m going to walk right out of here and file a complaint with OSHA!”

“Yeah!” said another test subject, also standing up. A third soon followed. “We’re OUT OF HERE!” All three test subjects marched through the nearest door, slamming it shut dramatically behind them.

“…This is a closet, isn’t it?”

“No,” Dr. Forrester said, pushing the hatch release button. “It’s an airlock.”

Indy, April, and Lord Stoneheart have died. They were TEST SUBJECTS (town) and BAD AT READING WARNING SIGNS.

Dr. Forrester had the surviving crew members’ lives in her hands. But what she didn’t know was…well, lots of things, including how to fill out a grant application, get IRB approval, and keep the eye wash station in working order. But mainly, she didn’t know that many of them were secretly former stars of MST3K’s terrible films!

Welcome to Warwilf 87: Mystery Violence Theater 3000!


Player roll call!



Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather



Sister Jude









Mr. Glitch


Captain Video




Lamb Dance


This experiment contains:

Fourteen Test Subjects (town). I won’t give you ALL the details, but they include more than one one-shot vigilante, a doctor, a jailer, an investigator, and a spy who can observe night actions, among other things both useful and not-so-useful.

Four Rebel Test Subjects (wolves). These space mutineers have one recruiter, one rebel who won’t read as a rebel, one vanilla rebel, and someone who can do something else that will be an unpleasant surprise if it happens. A specific Rebel Test Subject is assigned to perform the killings each night. If they are killed or blocked, the next one in the line of succession takes the job, and so on.

Two Wild Card Test Subjects (unaligned). These players have their own agendas and win conditions. They will read as town if investigated. It is possible for them to be recruited by the rebels, but they will continue to have their own secret agenda.

One Cymbal-Banging Monkey (serial killer).  Little wisecracker!

Named roles and allegiances are revealed upon death. So are powers…mostly.

Some roles are SECRET. The roled player loses their power if they publicly reveal either the name of their role or its power. They do not lose the power if these things are revealed through any other method.

A tie at Movie Sign=no kill. There’s plenty of other ways to die in this thing.

MOVIE SIGN (Twilight) will be on Sunday at 7:00 PM Central U.S. time.  Because there are 21 players alive, 11 or more votes for the same person will trigger auto-daykill.

The Pant Association urges you to wear your pants at least three times per day, and the Post Association recommends you post at least as often! Please don’t quote directly from QTs, and let’s all be awesome to each other and have fun!  Oh, and NO EDITING COMMENTS! (Ironically, I forgot to put this in at first, so I had to edit.)