Are all those kiddies over at the Day Thread gone? Gone with mommy and daddy and tucked into bed, tired from the Pokemon Day festivities?
Oh, good. Because Night Thread isn’t for those babies that play with those sentient stuffed animals. Digimon is for the big boys and girls. Digimon is for people who asked the question, “What if Pokemon… was sexy?”
Lopunny? That’s a bunny plushie with legs. Digimon feature a cute kitty cat…
… that digivolves into a Victoria’s Secret model.
How many comic stores display the above $200 vinyl figure of Angewomon on a shelf behind the counter? The answer is: all of them. One of her most advanced forms is Ordinemon. You’d think that makes her into an ordinary woman (like, I don’t know, Sherry from Accounting), but no, she turns into some sort of top level Final Fantasy summons.
Meanwhile, if you have and adorable chubby winged hamster, your digital pet just might digivolve into a leather-clad devil who should be in a music video for a Norweigan black metal band. This cheerful fellow is, of course, named Devimon. (Named “Darkmon” in the US, because we don’t cotton to this Satanic stuff.)
As some of you have already guessed, Digimon was created as a direct competitor to a similar franchise featuring cute little monsters that you must train until they are ready to advance to a new, stronger form.
I am, of course, talking about Tamagotchi.
Digimon was a competitor product, but originally featured on a manly box keychain instead of a dumb old egg. It answered the other age old question, “What if your digital pet could fight?” I mean, why raise a vIrtual child if they cannot learn to murder? This is Tamagotchi… FOR MEN. Also you have to clean up your Digimon’s filthy droppings because goddammit we are not SAVAGES.
Eventually Digimon made the transition to computer games after the Tamagotchi fad died down. There were also manga and an anime that featured the weird chimera of familiar concepts that everyone knows and loves.
There are currently over 1300 Digimon.