This is a big week for JRPG fans, PC gamers and 3D platforming aficionados. You’re not one of those three types of players? Dang, I’m sorry to hear that. Umm, Madden should be out in August…

Kingdom Hearts III (PS4/Xbox One)

It’s been 15 years since Kingdom Hearts II hit the PlayStation 2, and finally, after all this time we’ve finally got a new game in the series…wait, what? This is the twelfth game in the series? Seriously; so there was a new Kingdom Hearts game released, roughly, every year between 2004 and 2015? Oh, okay. Well when you put it into that context this isn’t that big a deal, right? Oh who am I kidding, this is huge! Sure, there’s been various new titles released on a consistent basis since the first game dropped in 2002, but most of those have been small, hand held affairs or mobile titles. This is the first full, numbered release in FIFTEEN years. Picking up after the events of the 2010 DS title, Dream Drop Distance, Sora, Donald and Goofy embark on a quest to find the seven guardians of light. Do we really care about the reason these guys are going on an adventure? I mean, I just want to run around in Toy Story and hang out with Woody and Buzz, and someone else just wants to hang out with Elsa, and other people want to see Winnie The Pooh fuck shit up. It’s going to be marvelous!

Dragon Marked For Death (Switch) – Releases Jan. 31^st

Are you a JRPG fan but don’t have a PS4 or Xbox One? Don’t worry, Inti Creations has you covered with the release of the 2D platforming JRPG Dragon Marked For Death. You, and up to four players, can hack, slash and jump your way to glory, as you seek revenge against the Kingdom of Medius for destroying your home. Using newfound powers, gained from some mystical dragon, you will need to complete quests for the many villagers you come across in order to gain a reputable standing in the world. I am slighty confused about the timing of this game’s release. On the one hand, it’s Switch exclusive and therefore has no, theoretical, competition from KHIII, but on the other hand, the likely audience for this game probably has at least two systems, and will be very busy with KHIII. Perhaps they are banking on people taking this on the go, playing on the bus or subway when they have to leave their PS4’s at home. I’m intrigued, but will certainly be waiting for a price drop in the coming weeks and months before picking it up.

Rainswept (PC) – Releases Feb. 1^st

This adventure game appears to be the first release from indie developer Frostwood Interactive. The trailer gives off a noir, Twin Peaks kind of vibe, and I’m into it. There’s a good chance this could be a trainwreck, but the studio isn’t trying to create an elaborate JRPG (unlike some studios from last week…), they’re making a surreal adventure game with simple graphics. The PC release slate is very crowded this week, so anything a developer can do to make their game stand out from the rest is going to be key to their success. Good luck Frostwood Interactive.

Spinnortality (PC) – Releases Feb. 1^st

Have you ever wanted to run OCP, Weiland Yutani, The Tyrell Corporation, or Dr. Evil’s mega conglomerate? Welcome to Spinnortality! Use whatever nefarious tactics you have to gain an advantage in business, as you work to create the world’s largest and most powerful corporation. According to Steam, you will “…spread fake news, start riots and become immortal” on your way to “…monopolize the globe and build a corporate empire that will stand forever”. Again, this PC game looks really cool, and brings something interesting to a crowded release date. Should you wait for a Steam Summer Sale to pick it up? Maybe, but if you’re an armchair super villain with ambitions to run the world with an iron, capitalist fist, then perhaps you’ve found your favorite game of 2019.

 

Ports and Re-releases:

Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy (Switch). If you were to ask me what game I expect to see a re-make of, I think Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy would be way, way down on the list, wedged somewhere between Ty The Tasmanian Tiger and Cybernoid: The Fighting Machine. Who was asking for this? IGN gave the game an 8.5 out of 10, and Steam user reviews are sitting at “very positive”. Perhaps it is a hidden gem, a diamond in the rough, a lost treasure, an overlooked classic, and any other clichéd term you can think of to describe something good that has been hidden for a long time. Perhaps the answer is a simple one, and that’s is the 3D platformer is having a resurgence right now, with a nostalgia factor that demands that any piece of pop culture, no matter how obscure, deserves a second chance. Now, if they could only do a gritty re-make of Castlequest…

 

Everything else:

Record of Agarest War: Mariage (PC) – Releases Feb. 1^st. Holy shit, look at the way those girls in the image above are looking at the size of that guy’s sword. I thought Senran Kagura from last week looked perverted, but at least those girls appeared to have gone through puberty; these three look like they just entered eighth grade and were dressed up by Quentin Tarantino’s character in From Dusk Till Dawn. Okay, so what is this game? Well, it’s an SRPG, which stands for “simulation RPG”, which I guess means tactics? Why wouldn’t they just call it a tactical RPG? Anyway, you are “The Chosen One”, and you must reincarnate over and over again, trying each time to produce an heir who can defeat the ultimate evil, once and for all. Like Dragon Marked For Death, this is a JRPG trying to compete with one of the biggest JRPGs of the year, so who are they trying to court with this game? Oh, perverts, I get it now. Hey, if you’ve played any of these games in the past please tell me if I’m wrong, but just seeing the art, I have a feeling this is fan service 101. If that’s your thing, good on you, I’m gonna go sit over here, with my wife and kid.

Arc Savior (PC) – Releases Jan. 31^st. It’s getting late, enjoy this description from Steam, “Discover a beautiful and brutal universe through three immersive stories. Champion blazing fast dog-fights, Out wit aggressive defense systems and overcome constant overwhelming odds. This is your goal, this is your duty, this is your way of life…”

Bleep Bloop (PC/Switch) – Releases Jan. 31^st. Two blobs work together to solve puzzles. There’s a joke in there somewhere.

Bombfest (PC/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Jan. 31^st. Looking for a party game? Cool, Bombfest is coming out. There’s blocks, and bombs, and little wooden people in an arena. GET SOME!!

Himeko Sutori (PC) – Releases Jan. 31^st. Currently in early access on Steam, this tactical RPG is from a first time developer and, not gonna lie, it looks pretty cheap. I mean, the game could be fun though, if you squint your eyes and pretend you’re playing Final Fantasy Tactics. Rockwell Studios, LLC. please send me a Steam key for this game and I’ll review it. I mean it, hey, I know you’re reading this, you have to have installed some kind of Chrome extension to alert you when the title of your game is mentioned on a website.

Piczle Colors (Switch) – Releases Jan. 31^st. Copy/pasting text is way, way easier than coming up with stuff on my own; enjoy this description from the Nintendo eShop, “Use the numbers around the side of the puzzle to work out how many blocks of which color should be painted in each row and column. Since the order of the numbers doesn’t determine the order you need to paint the colors you’ll need to stretch your brain to figure it out. Luckily there are two types of numbers that indicate if the colors should be painted together or separately”. Doesn’t that sound great?

Worbital (PC/PS4/Switch) – Releases Jan. 31^st. Should I go for a third time? Sure, why not; from Steam, “With the shifting gravity on your side, aim your cannons, blast your enemies and enjoy the fireworks. Worbital is a real-time strategic artillery game in space, peppered with a heavy dose of cosmic chaos. The goal: be the last civilization standing”!

 

Notable Releases from 10, 20 and 30 years ago:

Unlike the, er, less than stellar games from last week, we’ve got three really fantastic titles to reminisce about this time. From a super rare DS game, to a survival horror classic, to an NES pioneer. Fire up those emulators and relive the new games this week from 10, 20 and 30 years ago.

My World, My Way (Nintendo DS) – Released Feb. 3^rd, 2009: Wiki Link

This is a strange little title that I happened to come across while doing research for this week’s titles. The JRPG My World, My Way (called The World Revolves Around Me in Japan) is an odd duck. In this game you play as Princess Elise, a spoiled teenager who is intent on having a boyfriend, but not just any boyfriend, no, she wants to date a bonafide adventurer, you know, like the ones who usually star as the protagonist in their own JRPGs. To do this, she must go on her own adventure, slaying monsters and completing quests for the townsfolk. In what has to be the most tone deaf feature since the Peach’s uncontrollable emotions in Super Princess Peach, Princess Elise has “pout points”, which she can use to make things easier for her. Want more money from a monster, just pout at it, need more people to give you quests, just pout in the town square until someone feels sorry enough for you to give you something to do. As dumb as all of this sounds, I would so play the hell out of this game, but it’s crazy expensive! A brand new copy can fetch close to $200 bucks, maybe I should use some of my pout points to get them to drop the price. Pretty, pretty please? Why won’t you drop the price?! I want it, I want it, I WANT IT!!!

Silent Hill (PlayStation) – Released Jan. 31^st, 1999: Wiki Link

After the release of Resident Evil in 1996, survival horror games were big business. This golden age brought us titles like Clock Tower, Parasite Eve, Dino Crisis and a renewed interest in the series Alone in the Dark, however, none were as well regarded as Konami’s brilliant Silent Hill. Where Resident Evil could be compared to the films of George A. Romero or even James Cameron, Silent Hill seemed to have more in common with the two David’s, Lynch and Cronenberg, favoring the surreal and grotesque. This game, and series, has already been discussed in great length by Lilly Bones in Franchise Festival #35, so I won’t go too in depth on it, but I will say that this series sparked in me a desire to further my mind on the horror genre. Growing up I’d only ever seen the Freddy and Jason movies, but suddenly I was intrigued by this more intellectual, or heady, horror. Being 17, almost 18, at the time I was primed to expand my horizons, and this game really had a lot to do with leading me to the various genres of horror that I had overlooked, and for that I’ll always be grateful.

Ultima: Exodus (NES) – Released Feb. 1989: Wiki Link

Before Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, Might & Magic, and by only two or three months, Wizardy, there was Ultima. Created in 1981 by Richard Garriott, you would play as The Stranger, later named The Avatar, embarking on various quests to protect the land of Britannia. With Ultima III: Exodus, released in 1983 for PCs, players could, for the first time play as a party of characters. Cut to 1987 Japan, FCI would release one of the very first RPGs for the NES, porting the game under the name Ultima: Kyoufu no Exodus, or as it would be known in the U.S. two years later, Ultima: Exodus. This game was released shortly after Dragon Quest, but well before Final Fantasy, and even Dungeons & Dragons. Heck, even its contemporary rival Wizardry didn’t get an NES port in Japan until a few months after Ultima: Exodus came out. The game has the look and feel of what we’ve come to know as the JRPG (more so than what western RPGs would become), as you travel around a vast world map with no real guidance except your desire to explore. The battle system is interesting, in that it is almost tactical in nature. Instead of selecting a command from a menu and watching the numbers change on screen as you either defeat the monster or die from injury, you would position your party on an invisible grid, still attacking and casting spells from a menu, but with the added layer of having to ensure you were positioned properly. The game is pretty archaic when compared to the more sophisticated titles that would proceed it, but if you’re looking for something challenging and historical I would highly recommend this title.

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In 2009 I played a weekly D&D game with my siblings, a cousin, and a friend. On various occasions people couldn’t show up, so I would have to come up with some abstract reason as to why they weren’t on the adventure, and then sometimes have to come up with why they suddenly returned in the middle of it. This led to one of my all-time favorite moments playing the game; my friend was out so I said that as a joke, a hole opened up in the ground after an earth quake and he fell in, then the hole closed. The party assumed he’d be okay and kept going. Eventually, when he came back, for some reason he took an interest in these giant ants in the Monster Manual, and was like “I got kidnapped by giant ants” and it was this big long, running joke that Knife (his character’s name) was just hallucinating and that giant ants didn’t exist. The party could believe in zombies, tigermen, giant lizards, and reanimated skeletons, but giant ants was just a little too much. Well, in a particularly perilous moment, the party was about to be slain and devoured by a demon, trapped in a palace that constantly shifted and made escape impossible. I told my friend to “blow the horn the ant people gave him”, he looked at me kind of funny and then blew the horn. I suddenly had the floor give way and had a flood of giant ants came in to attack the demon and take the party to safety. Everyone was super excited and started laughing; giant ants did exist, and they were super nice. Eventually the ants helped them reach an evil wizard’s tower in the middle of a desert that was beaming out a mind control ray to make a race of tigermen attack various towns and villages in the surrounding area. It was pretty cool. I miss being a DM. Oh, by the way, that’s the same brother in the picture who destroyed my copy of Resident Evil: Director’s Cut. I might have had the monsters attack him just a little bit more than the rest of the party.