Games

Werewolf 82: You Win or You Die (Finale)

Creatures with eyes of white and rotting flesh rushed in through the door, and House Lannister charged into the fray with battle cries on their lips. Janei, Dennis, and Tyrion were family, and they would get back to backstabbing each other once the outside threats were taken care of. Qyburn knew that his best chance of making it out of this alive was to stick with them, and Roose merely wanted to spill as much blood as he could that wasn’t his own. Ser Bugs worked too damn hard to bring the Baratheons over to the Lannisters to abandon them now. Apryl Lannister broke free of the Starks and joined their ranks once more–family was family, despite everything. If humanity prevailed, historians would debate for years to come whether this was an act of bravery or cowardice.

The Lannisters were a group of immoral and depraved people, but they were loyal to the end. With stipulations.

As the Lannisters fought for their lives, they didn’t notice Salladhor Saan slipping away from the group. As he went through his various identity crises, he decided that, ultimately, he belonged to House Targaryen. He ran towards the people clad in red and black, though they were nearly unnoticeable beside the dragon that cast a shadow on the battle.

“I decided to join you,” Salladhor said. “But really, I’m just here for the dragon.”

“She’s yours,” Arya Targaryen said. “You know that most of us are actually loyal to the Baratheons, right?”

“But they don’t have any dragons.”

Arya cast one last judging glance at him before running towards the Baratheons, followed by Trainer Dani and Ser Royston. They kept up appearances till the end, but their hearts belonged to the stags.

Taako hesitated, looking at Salladhor before glancing at his old allies. “Fuck it. This House never did anything for me anyway.”

He took off in a run, joining the Targatheons. Angus and John Oliver looked at them with surprise, fully expecting the two of them to be the last Baratheons standing.

“We’re going to go down fighting,” Angus said. “After everything I went through, I have to stick with the Baratheons.”

“Fine with me,” John Oliver added. “Just don’t forget to tune in to my show after Game of Thrones.”

George R.R. Martin watched all this unfold before his eyes, marveling at all the events that happened without any of his doing. This meant that he didn’t need to complete the last two books, right? He turned towards the other Starks.

“Hey! You guys are still alive. I thought I killed off all the Starks?”

Lady Blolenna and the nameless old man glared at him.

“What?”

They didn’t bother answering him, calmly walking towards the White Walkers and letting themselves get turned into ice zombies. They turned back to the hapless author. They knew who they were going to eat first.

And thus, House Stark was truly finished.

The fighting lasted through the night. The White Walkers were winning, but Salladhor turned the tide when he rode his dragon into battle, destroying half of the undead with dragonfire. He was eventually overtaken by the rest of the army, and with his death, the possibly of another era of Targaryen reign was extinguished.

When the last White Walker was killed, the Lannisters and Baratheons surveyed the battlefield. They glanced at each other, and the Baratheons briefly considered fighting the Lannisters for the Iron Throne. But they didn’t have the numbers to defeat them, and they knew it.

They conceded reluctantly, laying their weapons at the Lannisters’ feet. A new era was dawning, and it seemed to belong to the golden children of Casterly Rock.

But this was Westeros, and man’s greed for power knew no bounds. Soon, the game of thrones will begin again.

Fin

FINAL TALLY:

  • Stark – 3 points
  • Lannister – 19 points
  • Baratheon – 16 points
  • Targaryen – 1 point
  • Zombies – 4 points

HOUSE LANNISTER WINS.

Thanks for playing!

QT LINKS:

Spreadsheet from Hell