Whatsa Matter, You No Talka with Your Accent No More

Welcome to the third iteration of the accent thread, for all of us Europeans to mock the homogeneity of the new world all of us Avocados to compare and contrast the peculiarities and idiosyncrasies of our voices and accents. To this end, just record yourself reading a chosen sample paragraph (listed below) on Vocaroo.com, and post it here! If you want to describe what you feel are the hallmarks of your accent, please feel free, and if you want to, you can try to become the first human being in recorded history to ever nail a Norn Irn accent without getting ‘er wile wrong hi.

So, on https://vocaroo.com, just give us your best rendition of Aesop’s fable of the North Wind and the Sun:

The North Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger, when a traveler came along wrapped in a warm cloak. They agreed that the one who first succeeded in making the traveler take his cloak off should be considered stronger than the other. Then the North Wind blew as hard as he could, but the more he blew the more closely did the traveler fold his cloak around him;and at last the North Wind gave up the attempt. Then the Sun shined out warmly, and immediately the traveler took off his cloak. And so the North Wind was obliged to confess that the Sun was the stronger of the two.