Werewolves 64: Sears – Day 3

Searching for the address in the newspaper, you drive through downtown Lunapool. It’s a weird town, home to a museum that used to be a library, a library that used to be a bank, a KFC, a Taco Bell, and a combination KFC-Taco Bell. At last, you find a beat-up shack in the suburbs, surrounded by a pair of newer houses that were both foreclosed on.

Your prospective landlord is rummaging through the galvanized steel shed at the back of the property, where invasive vines form an impenetrable wall of green on the trees they strangled. He walks over and introduces himself as “Rahwn.” Rahwn is 6’3″, 60 and tan. He was born in Sweden but did a lot of mining work in Australia, which is apparently where he learned to speak English. His accent is like Sharlto Copley, except more so.

“120 a wik,” he says, “an’ yi kin haep yirsefs to th’ frit trees.” He gestures to a small grove at the back of the property, near the shed. The fruits look like green golf balls at the moment. “Lit me shew you th’ roum.”

The room is “#A,” according to the greasepencil mark on the doorframe, and is about 10 feet square, on the second floor. It comes with an air conditioner. There is no central HVAC and, indeed, no phone line. You look at it, then each other, and accept. You pay Rahwn $120 in cash, get a hand-written receipt, and proceed to spend the night sleeping upright, like horses.

In the morning, you head back to the truck – where you find two bodies propped up in the cab.

“Crud,” says Madison. “More gross dead people.” Madysen manages to flip her hair and shudder at the same time.

Lindsay Funke has died. She was a SEARSONAUT (Vanilla Town)

Roy McAvoy (Elliot Thomas) has died. He was a SEARSONAUT (Vanilla Town)

“Welp,” says E-Dog, always the optimist. “At least we’ll have fewer people to cram into Room Number A.”

The drive back to Sears is tense. You turn on the radio and accidentally listen to the chorus of “Hanky Tonk Badonladonk” before you can turn it off again.


  1. Sic Humor – Mr. Burns
  2. Lindsay – VANILLA TOWN
  3. Hohodor – Howard Possum
  4. Jake – Madison
  5. D. Goat
  6. PearlSheltie – Ernest Cline – VANILLA TOWN
  7. E-Dog – Jr. Manager E-Dog
  8. Elliot Thomas – Roy McAvoy – VANILLA TOWN
  9. Owen – Stephen Sebald, Appliance Tester
  10. Banner
  11. Jon Hamm’s John Ham
  12. April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer – Face
  13. Subsaharan – VANILLA TOWN
  14. Hayes – Mel, the OTHER assistant manager
  15. Dr. Nick – Big Jim uh, Balloon Boy
  16. Mac Crocodile
  17. Spiny Creature – Bea Santello
  18. Wood Sword – Barney
  19. Colonel Mustard – Madysen
  20. Platypus Basileus – Reaganomics Lamborghini


  • 14 12 vanilla town (Searsonauts)
  • 1 town-aligned jailer (Janitor)
  • 1 town-aligned detective (Manager on Duty)
  • 2 vanilla wolves (JC Penney Spies)
  • 1 wolf roleblocker (Dr. Robin Þicc)
  • 1 serial killer (Unsatisfied Customer)


  • The investigator role (MOD) will always be backfilled from the vanilla town population. If there are no more vanilla town members left, the role will be left empty.
  • The jailer cannot jail themselves, or the same person two days in a row.
  • JC Penney forces (wolves) will show up as JC PENNEY on the investigator’s Sears Network Controller. All others come up SEARS.
  • The wolves win when they are equal to the number of town-aligned players left.
  • Town wins when all the wolves and the serial killer are defeated.
  • Serial killer wins when it comes down to just them and one other person.
  • A three-way standoff between the last town, last wolf and SK will result in a special ending.
  • A tie at the end of day results in No Lynch. A majority of living players voting for any one person (or No Lynch) ends the day early.
  • No editing posts.
  • No quoting or screencapping from your QTs.
  • If you have any other questions about rules, please ask in QT, and I will answer publicly here.

DAY ENDS: 11 a.m. Eastern Monday (countdown)