♪ Am I just a hypocrite,
Or am I really a whore?
But to coin a phrase is always much more fun
To coin a phrase is always much more “now” ♪
— Drivin’ N’ Cryin’, “Watch the Fire/to Coin a Phrase”
A Republican lawmaker version of the quiz show Hypocrite or Whore could run more seasons than all versions of Jeopardy! combined without ever setting off a wrong answer buzzer. Truly, a paradise of no whammies.
But your humble WPT host came here merely to talk about that tangentially as a trope to transition into the problem with civil society deadenders who cling to their misperceptions of God and their deification of guns so desperately that they put people like Trump. Pence, McConnell, Ryan, Sessions and Neil Gorsuch into national office. When prayer in the public schools just won’t suffice, they surmise, try firearms.
But what should we call these overwhelmingly white and self-professed Christians whose demands mirror Talibanists so closely that only a few substitutions of proper nouns do the trick for describing each group’s Weltanschauung?
Allow Uvular to propose — nay, insist upon — “Jesushadists.”*
Just as jihadists, Jesushadists see themselves in a sometimes violent struggle to impose theocracy. Other oronyms exist — Vanilla Isis, Y’all Qaeda, Yeehawdists, Yokel Haram — but each of those has gained some traction in the zeitgeist. A Google search for Jesushadist returns exactly six hits.
Politicados, let’s make Jesushadist our thing. Let’s insert it into as many online comments and IRL conversations** as possible. Let’s prove the fun and newness of coining a phrase. We have only our interpretability to lose, and immortality to gain. You could even go meta and ironic with it by calling the push for Jesushadist “spreading the good word” or a Crusade.
Make Jesushadist — air quotes — happen. Start with your contributions to this weekend’s politics thread.
n.b. A Wehrmacht belt buckle proclaiming “God is with us” might have an interesting conversation with some looted U.S. specie declaring “In God we trust.” Start writing those short stories Politicados of an authorial bent.
*Copyright © The Uvular Suspects. Trademarked. Patent pending.
**Not that we typically go for such things.