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The Thursday Politics Thread Joins A Secret Society (for the greater good)

For the past 36 hours, as Republican congressmen rally to discredit the Russia Investigation, we have been hearing them speak about a so-called ‘Secret Society’ within the FBI. This, combined with the ‘missing 50,000 texts’ from two FBI agents who were not fans of Trump ( which I now hereby dub Butter E-mails 2: Electric Boogaloo), has created a counter-narrative that the FBI is poisoned and biased against Trump. This was revealed to be nonsense yesterday as the sole mention was in a text that, in context, was probably meant to be a joke.


Thing is, they have to have known that it was. For all the guff we give conservatives about how there aren’t really any popular comedians with conservatives, they have to know what is and isn’t a joke, right? I can only conclude that its part of an increasingly desperate campaign to derail the investigation. Speaking of increasingly desperate Republican congressmen…

Hey! It’s everyone’s favorite corrupt-as-hell sack of vaudevillian flopsweat Congressman Devin Nunes! He’s got a secret memo, written in crayon, that Democrats can’t see, Senate Republicans aren’t allowed to see, his Republican House colleagues are allowed to see, that he wants to release to the public that shows irrefutable proof that FBI are big meany-heads who just don’t like Trump. Too bad Assistant Attorney General Boyd pointed out that doing so would be releasing classified info would be incredibly wreckless and violate terms of an information-sharing agreement with DOJ seeing as these documents were viewed in a SCIF.


Oh, and Chuck Grassley wants to release the terms associated with the recommendations he made to criminally prosecute Christopher Steele. Everything is fine!


Welcome to Thursday!

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3,072 thoughts on “The Thursday Politics Thread Joins A Secret Society (for the greater good)

    1. Jerry Jr. needs hanged higher than Haman, to get Hebrew Bible on his ignorant ass.

      1. I can’t wish for that to happen, but were it to happen, I would definitely send my most heartfelt thoughts and prayers.

    2. And lo, his disciples asked him, “O Lord, we knoweth you said to be righteous and holy, but that’s too hard.”
      And Christ said unto them, “verily, that is good enough for government work.”
      And then they all laughed with the Lord and called it a day.

    3. So … is he saying that Jesus didn’t want the Romans to convert? That they should have just stayed pagan?

      1. I think he’s saying that Jesus didn’t interfere in civil Roman issues, and so Christians shouldn’t criticize the Predisent, but offer him their uncritical love and support, for some reason. But religious freedom, the freedom to be Christian was a civil issue in Rome…

    4. The Romans didn’t need to be told to allow all the barbarians to become Roman citizens – they were already doing it (after killing and enslaving most of them, but nobody’s perfect.)

  1. My facebook “on this day” reminded me what I shared two years ago:

    “Getting emails blaming me for not smothering Ted Cruz in his sleep in 1988. What kind of monster do you think I am? A really prescient one?” – actual quote by Ted Cruz’s Princeton roommate, Craig Mazin.

    I still think that’s pretty funny.

    1. I was watching early 30 Rock and Tina Fey joked about Donald Trump being eaten by a tiger on the ISS.
      I wish we lived in Liz Lemon’s pretend world, and not here where Trump is threatening to defund the ISS.

  2. This is pretty interesting. Both in what the Dutch were able to do, and in how American intelligence agencies have had to leak information about how the Russians were responsible for hacking the DNC and how we learned this from “a western ally” to counter Trump’s idiocy and denials. The Dutch intelligence services feel burned and trust us less.


    1. Netherlanders have been good spies since the 16th century. You also do not want to tangle with them in anything like a fair fight.

      1. Never go in against a…Dutchman? When death is on the line?

        That can’t be right.

        1. You’ll wake up naked in an alley, still stoned out of your mind, with a tulip bulb up your ass. They do have a sense of humor, unlike Germans.

    1. Is it that the employee isn’t cooperating that’s ominous? Because I think it’d be odd if you weren’t unsettled by those alerts.

        1. It’s probably just a civil servant who knows they screwed up big time and doesn’t want to dig themselves any deeper of a hole.


    1. How fucking appropriate that he shows a high-speed chase gone wrong IMMEDIATELY after that.

        1. The DSA are Trotskyists idiots. You are an O.G. Marxist-Leninist fucking fool who would still lick Stalin’s and Beria’s asses.

          1. Neither Stalin nor Beria would be fool enough to let him get that close to their persons.

      1. Way to reify black folks into a revolutionary tool! Who is your Radical Chic going to fetishize next?

      2. The American Left didn’t abandon the US en masse for the Warsaw Pact or Comrade Che? Shocking.

        What do Tankies think of Ho Chi Minh, who was criticized by Stalin and Mao as being a Vietnamese nationalist first and a Communist second? (Funnily enough, Ho apparently thought that French and Soviet Communists were much too Eurocentric, and insufficiently willing to further the revolution in colonized countries).

          1. But Ho cared more about Vietnam than spreading international Communism! I’m starting to think these Tankies don’t have it all figured out.

    1. I like how Judge Juche keeps up with the seasons. It’s cute. Softens the Juche ideology a little.

    1. My soul belongs to Vlad, I know
      I made that bargain long ago
      He gave me hope when hope was gone
      He gave me strength to journey on
      Who am I? Who am I?
      I’m Don J. Trump!

      And so Robert, you see it’s true
      This Russia thing is just Fake News!
      Who am I?
      One Stable Genius!

      1. Trump was claiming that Mueller can’t be impartial to him because he once quit a Trump golf club because the fees were too high (?)

          1. If you’re Trump, anyone who isn’t a member of your golf club is The Enemy,

          2. So he didn’t refund a customer’s money. Well, I don’t know what I expected.

      2. A report came out today that Trump wanted to fire Mueller in June, on the grounds that—among other things—Mueller was harboring a years-old grudge about a membership at one of Trumps golf resorts.

        Don McGann threatened to quit and Trump backed off.

        1. I do wonder what would happen if some senior Republican senator just took the floor and went, “This is fucking crazy, right?” Like if just one of them came out and was the first one to say it that maybe the rest of them would be all “oh my god, you’re right” and we could end this nightmare.

          1. Didn’t Jeff Flake already do that and everybody was like “Eh, we never liked you anyway”?

      1. “Well me, personally, I’d be very perplexed.”

        “That would considerably fall within the realm of suspicious.”

        “Now watch this drive!”

  3. I’ll end tonight with something fun. So here’s a local news story from a week ago. It’s customary for new administration officials to replace town signs that had the names of the previous government people with their own name. Well, this time they decided to just leave names off it so that they don’t have to keep replacing them and save money. They recycled the old signs, starting with making a dog park. https://www.newsday.com/long-island/nassau/hempstead-signs-parks-1.16243388

      1. Wealth is wasted on the rich. You have all this money and this is seriously the best thing you can think to do with it?

        1. I’m at the part with the paintings. This is it? This is the height of decadence? A flying woman doin’ it with three dudes?

          If I had this kind of money, I’d be doing WAAAAY more interesting and weird stuff. Instead of this shit, I’d create a club that was the lovechild of HR Giger and Zdzislaw Beksinski, and that lovechild is having a fever dream.

          1. Blech, look at this:


            What are you, some kind of moron? THIS is opulence? How can you be so philosophically or religiously incurious to think that this is as good as it gets, with the gold and the marble and the red carpets? It’s like a parody of someone who is as far from Buddhahood as possible. How do you indulge in something like this and not realize you’re a rube being fleeced? A million euros a year for this nonsense. Christ.

            1. That is the most ludicrous mishmash of aesthetic styles I think I’ve ever seen. Laughing at this is going to carry me through my hangover today, thank you.

            1. Do the rich really need ANOTHER place to drink champagne and eat caviar and oysters and kobe beef? I swear, you could probably build a club patterned on Dante, where each circle of “hell” is more and more exclusive, and make bank. And it wouldn’t be so wretchedly dull.

          2. I’d buy Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch and turn his backyard amusement park into a Tim Burton-esque nightmare theme park.

        2. I wish nothing but ignominious bankruptcy on the entire enterprise.

    1. Recently, a model turned down an offer to work at the The Contenance Club. “She didn’t want to work for €200 [£180] a night,” says Michael, stunned. In his view, all women dream of owning expensive shoes and Gucci handbags, and the easiest way to get those is by securing a rich man. “Ninety percent of women prostitute themselves in one way or another,” he explains to me.

      Ok. You are gross.

      “To be sure, we have a strict rule: women here aren’t allowed to initiate conversation with the male guests. But, if I’m being honest, I don’t think we should need it as a rule, because a normal woman wouldn’t do that anyway.”

      And also wrong.
      I read the article. It really is a place for the Trumps of the world, from another era entirely. I hope it craters, even though the asshole who designed it spent none of his own money.

      1. And just look at the pictures. Like, it literally looks cheap. There was one picture where you could literally see exposed plywood. I’m not an elitist by any means, but as a student who can barely make ends meet, I wouldn’t rent a room with exposed plywood on the furniture. That’s how fucking cheap it is.

        But yeah. It’s astounding that he doesn’t at least have the self-consciousness to realize how this is gonna come off. Honestly, my hypothesis is that he knows exactly what it looks like, and it’s his marketing pitch in order to reel in the entitled douchebro crowd that gets off on having people pissed at them.

        1. Now that I’ve finished the article, it seems like this is going to crash and burn. It’s not active, this guy is still recruiting members. I doubt it ever really gets off the ground.

          1. Yeah. It’s like, does he know that Ibiza is a thing? That market is sorta already cornered.

        2. I left the cheapness of the room alone because that had already been adequately dragged.
          But I had not seen the plywood. But $170 a night to deal with a bunch of entitled douchebags? Really There are people who will do that, but the ones the guy has in mind aren’t doing it for that little. Even for jobs where you bump into rich guys.
          And I am sure there will be an early rush, but if the execution of the food, music, lighting, and overall milieu is as bad as the design, I can’t see people sticking around or recommending this place to friends.

          1. Yeah, I’m sorta confused how this even got financed.

            Oh my God. Rich friend. Terrible business plan. Garish. Guy who made it was an incredibly misogynistic douchebro.


    1. I assume conservatives will take our bafflement at his stupidity as victory. “HAH! Look at their heads spin! What a great troll Hanntiy is!!”

    1. If Trump crashed the FnF set one morning and took a steaming dump on the coffee table, the hosts would praise the size of the shit pile.

    1. So all the roughly nine thousand times Trump and his minions have claimed they never even discussed firing Mueller counts as a knowing lie. You’d hope the Fox News folks could muster the dignity to feel betrayed and forced into complicity.

      Your hope would prove fruitless, but it would be nice to hope.

        1. FUN FACT: Brian Kilmeade is in my city right now, preparing to broadcast his morning radio show from the studio of the rightwing AM talk radio station I listen to in the morning.

          I may stay tuned in for a10-20 minutes to hear if Kilmeade mentions Trump’s order to fire Mueller.

          1. “the rightwing AM talk radio station I listen to in the morning”

            There are easier ways to punish yourself.

            1. The local guy does not toe the Fox News line and hates Trump. He also devotes about an hour each day to 20th century popular music history.

              I consider listening to Macrini in the Morning, 790 AM, the least painful way to burst my liberal media bubble.

          2. People actually take time in their lives to listen to Brian Kilmeade? It’s really hard not to hate society.

        2. Okay, so….

          – Whatever, it’s news.
          – Probably a lie.
          – Likely absolute lies.
          – Same.

          People maybe shouldn’t watch this.

          1. I just want to note that that Obama Farrakhan thing is super racist.

      1. Today: 14:00 – 22:00
        Tomorrow: 08:00 – 14:00

        It is designed so you can vote before going to a pub and then sober up just as the results start coming in the next day.

        1. That sounds right to me.

          More political scheduling should be based on the needs of the intoxicated.

          1. “The needs of the intoxicated outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one.”

    1. And proving he isn’t allowed to see the news unfiltered.

      It was definitely a big story here.

    2. “Donald Trump has said he is prepared to apologise for retweeting inflammatory videos by the far-right group Britain First, as he seeks to prepare the ground for a visit to the UK this year.”

      So do it already you grade A jerk!

        1. Oh, I know, but it’s the weaselly “Oh, I’m ready to apologize if…” So we’ve told you and now it’s time to already.

      1. Trump is definitely the kind of jerk where if he apologizes it’ll be the passive aggressive “sorry if you were offended”

    3. Didn’t Sarah Huckabee Sanders spend the better part of a week telling reporters that it did not matter that the Britain First videos Trump retweeted were racist and fake because “the message was true”?

      Yes, she did. Apologizing now is both too little, too late and an admission that the administration lied about the “truth” of “needing” Islamophobia. Trump can’t even stick to his own racist talking points.

      1. She’s the dumbest person, but we were supposed to be impressed that the sexist, racist administration hired a woman to do the press spokesperson job. That’s…not how anything works.

  4. “Blue Lives Matter! Police are always right! Just obey them and everything will be fine!”

    “The FBI is investigating Trump! They are un-American and must be stopped!”

    1. We need to stand for our troops!

      We also need to amass a disgustingly large arsenal to kill the living fuck out of them if need be.

    1. Just a reminder that Joe Walsh should play in traffic. But pay his child support before that.

  5. So according to this amazing video I found on YouTube, voting for my candidate will result in civil war, 100 000 of Muslims moving to Czech Republic and something called “superholocaust”.

    Exciting times!

    1. I assume your candidate is a robot Adolf Hitler in a giant exo skeleton with two gatling guns for arms?

  6. “The United States is not just exporting energy, we’re exporting freedom. We’re exporting to our allies in Europe the opportunity to truly have a choice of where do you buy your energy from. That’s freedom. And that kind of freedom is priceless.”

    -Rick Perry on exporting fossil fuels

    1. “That kind of freedom should be set at least $60 a barrel, maybe $80”

    2. Among things Rick Perry isn’t aware of: the Baltic States are still on the Russian power grid and Russia is the biggest exporter of oil and natural gas to Europe.

      1. At Davos? I think they’d be booing Trump. That doesn’t seem like the crowd to boo the press. I’ll try and find the video.

        1. Okay am I the only person who still thinks that Davos is a place from Game of Thrones?

    1. Trump did try to fire Mueller over the summer, but his counsel threatened to resign if he did. According to Hannity: no biggie.

      Trump’s at the Davos world summit, where he’s discovering that you can’t talk to the world’s political and business class like you can a rally in the Florida panhandle.

    2. As noted in the pinned comment, there was some kind of troll invasion, and the mods had to lock down a bunch of threads. Many Avocados had to actually do some work instead of posting here. It was terrible!

  7. The President of the United States who has more than likely, according to intelligence and testimony, been in cahoots with Russian agents, has openly admitted to firing the sitting FBI director over the investigation into said Russian collusion and has now been revealed to have been trying to fire the special council who is investigating the Russian connection responded to these allegations with: “Fake news.”

    That’s it. That’s enough for people. They believe him.

    I’m fucking baffled. Like, my mind is fucking blown.

    1. Fuck you guys. Oh hey, I don’t really mean it. But fuck you guys. Take care of me first.

      1. Let’s work together on making sure we each get taken care of before anyone else–CHINA YOU CAN’T GO BEFORE ME!

            1. His usual McDonald’s is just a trough that dozens can approach and shove their heads in simultaneously.

      1. Moved on to another topic?

        “Is Mr. Davos here today? Mr. Davos has been getting more and more recognition lately.”

    1. Oh, the “thing” Fox does with black people. You know what I’m talking about here.

      It’s so fucking bizarre and racist. Hannity has this black guy who calls in and the entire time Sean puts on this faux southern preacher (or, like James-Brownesque soul singer) accent “WHAT UP MY BROTHA! YOU KNOW ME, BABY!”

          1. You’re right, but that seems too broad a term. This is a really specific form of racism. Can we name it after Quentin Tarantino, because he’s kind of notorious about it?

      1. Every network has their token Trump backers. Check out Paris Dennard on CNN. On second thought, don’t do that. He’s incredibly annoying.

    1. Yesterday the Atlantic published an article asking why women don’t go into male-dominated trades (welding was the specific example they used). They wrote the full article about it, talking about all different factors that might play a role. In the last paragraph, they mentioned a female welder who said that she’d spent the first year or so of her job getting made fun of by the dudes she worked with for being terrible at her job, until she managed to “earn their respect.”

      Gosh, I can’t imagine why more women don’t wanna be welders!

      Anyway this seems similar . . . I’m a developer, and there is no amount of money you could pay me to work at Google. I can’t understand why anyone except straight white/Asian males would, unless they really, really need the money. It’s a cesspool for sociopaths.

      1. I work in a male-dominated industry, the world of craft beer is meant for tattooed dudes that look like bearded lumberjacks.

        I’ve had to study up and learn everything on my own, and some men will still not take me seriously. It’s frustrating and women in the industry are finally making gains, but there’s still a long way to go.

      2. Google is a pretty forward company for the most part. Not only are they diverse and LGBTQ friendly, I went to a Google employee pub crawl in the Castro a few years back. It wasn’t “Google presents the Search Engine Castro Pub Crawl” but it was organized all through Google’s internal systems; the same one that Damore used to publish his screed.

        1. Google is literally getting sued right now for systematically underpaying women. So no, not really.

          They like to position themselves as progressive for marketing purposes, but they’ve regularly come under fire over the past few years for sexual harassment of female employees, regular harassment of . . . pretty much everyone, underhiring women and people of color, racism, etc. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, their hiring process disproportionately selects assholes, and the disproportionate number of assholes ensures that a lot of the non-assholes quit. They either have no interest in addressing this or haven’t figured out how to.

      3. As a fellow developer, the culture of software companies drives me up the fucking wall, and I’m a straight white male. I can’t imagine how gross it must be if you’re a woman or a minority or LGBT.

  8. According to NPR’s Up First podcast, Trump boasted that the crowd in Davos is the biggest they’ve ever seen. Steve Inskeep lost his shit laughing at that (as much as an NPR news host can), which made me smile.

    1. Bad PR. The facts haven’t changed for months. They should’ve called on them to resign a long time ago.

    2. Purely CYA. On their press release there’s probably small print at the bottom that states, “This USOC statement is purely for the benefit of the USOC and its board. Any semblance to morality or basic human decency is purely coincidental.”

    3. Gymnastics is one of their biggest sports. They don’t want to be collateral damage in any of the fallout from this (boycotts or something).

  9. Brian Kilmeade, broadcasting his radio show from Norfolk, VA, said he sees nothing but battleships.

    Norfolk is home of the long retired USS Wisconsin, but the U.S. Navy has not floated a battleship since the early 1990s. He is now “debunking” the news, confirmed by Fox, that Trump tried to fire Mueller by saying, Well, he did not fire … .”

  10. I heard the speech was a shitshow. I am old enough to remember that the last speech that was the moment he became presidential

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