It’s time for another round of Muppet Casting, where we take a famous movie and ask, if Jim Henson’s Muppets made their own version of it (in the vein of The Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island), which Muppets would you cast in the lead roles?
This week, it’s Marvel’s The Avengers!
Gonzo the Great as Tony Stark/Iron Man – I briefly considered Fozzie for this role, since Tony is always making jokes, but I decided that what really makes most of Tony’s humor work is that, no matter how dangerous or serious the situation gets, he always acts like it doesn’t phase him in the slightest, so he’s free to joke around. And Gonzo is the Muppet who best embodies that attitude. They’re not quite the same, as Tony is always deliberately saying something glib during serious situations, while Gonzo might make the exact same comment, only he’ll be completely sincere, just insane. But despite that, he’s the Muppet who I can envision saying most of Tony’s lines and have it still sound right.
Camilla the Chicken as Pepper Potts – If Gonzo is Tony Stark, then Camilla is Pepper. That’s just a no-brainer.
Fozzie Bear as Thor – Thor and Fozzie aren’t at all alike, I’ll admit that. There isn’t really a good analogue for Fozzie in The Avengers cast. This pick is less about who fits the character best, and more about who would be funniest as the character. ‘Cause I’ll tell you, imagining Fozzie trying to pull off Thor’s elevated speech patterns and big, beefy guy nature, it brings a smile to my lips.
Kermit the Frog as Steve Rogers/Captain America – It was a tossup between making him Captain America or Nick Fury, since they both fill leader-like roles, and that’s Kermit’s territory. I ended up making him Cap, because Steve Rogers has a lot of I’m-trying-to-be-nice-but-can-we-all-get-serious-about-this-please? moments, which is so very Kermit.
Miss Piggy as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow – For once, it’s not just a case of matching the Muppets’ token female character up with the movie’s token female character. When Black Widow does her “interrogation” of the arms dealers in the beginning and Loki later on, the way she changes emotions and tones of voice on a dime is classic Miss Piggy.
Beaker as Bruce Banner – Beaker is a scientist with a nervous, twitchy energy about him, a perfect match for Bruce Banner (well, except for the part where Beaker can’t talk, but you can’t have everything).
Animal as The Hulk – This one kinda speaks for itself. But if it doesn’t, these two little words coming out of Animal’s mouth will: “Puny god.”
Rowlf the Dog as Clint Barton/Hawkeye – Hawkeye is the least developed of the Avengers, without much to his personality in this film but competent, professional badass. Meanwhile, Rowlf is the only one of the lead Muppets without much in the way of quirks, beyond being cool and laid back. It seems only natural to pair the two together.
Pops as Nick Fury – As I said, a big part of me wanted to have Kermit in this role. But since I have him as Captain America, I decided that the Avengers should all be the big-name, headliner Muppets, while the SHIELD crew should be the folks who would work backstage on The Muppet Show. Of those characters, the doorman Pops is the only one I feel has the right been-around-a-while/seen-it-all attitude to play Nick Fury.
Scooter as Maria Hill – Gender difference notwithstanding, Scooter is just perfect for Maria Hill’s role in the story. She basically is the Helicarrier’s stage manager.
Walter as Phil Coulson – Walter, being a Muppet who’s a huge fanboy of the Muppets, is the only logical choice for the character who asks Cap/Kermit to sign his trading cards.
Statler & Waldorf as Loki – Practically every line Loki has in the movie is him insulting the heroes or humanity in general in some way. Even if it means splitting the character in two, I think it’d be worth it to see what these two old hecklers do with the part.
Bunsen Honeydew as Dr. Erik Selvig – You need a scientist who helps build the portal that will bring the alien invaders without a care in the world (under the influence of mind control, but still). Gotta be ol’ Doctor Honeydew.
And for the closing credits scene:
The Swedish Chef as Thanos – I just think it’d be funny.
Those are my picks for a Muppet version of The Avengers. What are yours?