Inspired by Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble’s “Muppet Shakespeare” threads (you can find them on the old A.V. Club After Dark site here and here) I thought it might be fun to try out some threads where we take famous movies and ask: if you had to recast this movie using Jim Henson’s Muppets, which Muppet would you cast in each role?
Some human actors are allowed, because Muppet movies always have at least a few, but Muppets should make up the majority of the cast. How much the Muppets go off-script and bring their own personality and gags to the role . . . that’s up to you.
For this thread, in honor of The Last Jedi coming to theaters, I decided to go with a Muppet version of the original Star Wars Trilogy. (I’d hope this went without saying, but NO SPOILERS for The Last Jedi in the comments, please.)
My cast list would go like this:
Kermit the Frog as Luke Skywalker – Kermit is the obvious pick for the goodhearted leading man. Plus, Luke’s desire to go somewhere other than Tatooine would make a lot of sense coming from Kermit: he’s a frog living on a desert planet.
Miss Piggy as Princess Leia – ‘Cause, c’mon, this one’s a no-brainer. The Pigs! In! SPAAAACE! cast can be the crew of her ship that gets boarded.
Gonzo the Great as Han Solo – I figure some people will want Kermit or Fozzie for this role, but Kermit’s too nice and clean-cut to play a rougish smuggler, and there’s no way Fozzie could sell his half of Han and Leia’s flirt fighting. Gonzo, who has an established unrequited crush on Miss Piggy and a high tolerance for being HI-YAAH!ed to the face, seems like the better fit.
Animal as Chewbacca – Another obvious pick. I briefly considered Sweetums, but I’d prefer to save him for the monster Luke fights in Jabba’s palace.
Bunsen & Beaker as C3PO & R2D2 – Beaker is an obvious choice for R2, and Bunsen can slide in pretty well as 3PO (though their body shapes are kind of the inverse).
Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi – Just slap a little old-age makeup on him.
Statler & Waldorf as Uncle Owen &
Aunt Uncle Beru – It’s time those two tied the knot and made it official.
Fozzie Bear as Darth Vader – I know this will be a controversial pick. Fozzie as a villain is kind of different, and when the Muppets have actually done Star Wars parodies, it’s usually been Gonzo in the Darth Vader role. But I think taking Vader’s menacing presence, but filling it with Fozzie’s desperate need to impress and be liked by everyone, would be hilarious. Plus, when we get to the “I am your father” scene:
“That’s not true! That’s impossible!”
“Search your feelings, you know it to be true.”
“Yeah, I have searched my feelings, and they say it’s not true. You’re not even a frog!”
” . . . Would you believe twin brother?”
“No, we tried that once, remember?”
Sam the Eagle as Grand Moff Tarkin – This choice, however, probably won’t get much pushback.
Pepe the Prawn as Boba Fett – I just think this one would be funny.
Rizzo the Rat as Lando Calrissian – If you go with Gonzo as Han, then there’s no one else who could play Lando.
Yoda as Himself
The Swedish Chef as Jabba the Hutt – Just picture all the scenes with Jabba, only he’s speaking the Chef’s Swedlish instead.
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem as The Cantina & Jabba’s Palace bands – Since Animal is playing Chewbacca, have a second Animal in the band, and give them some fourth-wall breaking jokes about his double casting.
Mark Hamill as The Emperor – We’ve seen Mark Hamill in Star Wars, and we’ve seen Mark Hamill play over-the-top, scenery chewing bad guys, but (unless The Last Jedi goes in a very different direction than I’m expecting) we’ve never seen them together, and I want it so bad.
Those are my picks for a hypothetical Muppet Star Wars. Who would you want to see cast?