Roy Moore may be a man with an apparently endless amount of sexual allegations against him and malls that he has been banned from entering due to the strong interest he showed in teenage patrons, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t still have some fans on the side of the nation that thinks the word “Democrat” is a Spanish word for “Communist” and that this type of corruption is disgusting so long as it involves those nasty liberals in Hollywood and not politicians who aren’t named Clinton. Regardless, it’s to be expected that Moore’s campaign would do everything within its power to try to distance itself from the many, many, many negative stories about their candidate, and they have done just that by solving any and all problems with Moore’s interest in younger women by having him interview…a twelve-year old girl.
The video–which was released by the right wing pac “America First Project,” because of course that’s what it’s called–sees the young lady (referred to as “Millie”) sitting down with Mr. Moore and shaking his hand, wearing a MAGA hat that she probably doesn’t know was made in China. She probably doesn’t know a lot of things about Roy Moore, either, but that doesn’t stop her from being a big fan because her parents probably told her she had to be one or else she’d burn in Hell with God-haters like Jim Henson. This also isn’t her first rodeo, apparently, since her photo “went viral” last year after she had picture taken with Donald Drumpf, and if you didn’t see this picture when it was first release, it’s probably because you don’t educate yourself with Fox & Friends.
During the interview, Moore gets into some hardcore political stuff that is bound to bring more people to his side, including the news that he has “lots of campaign volunteers” including “many who are out of state,” and hey, at least one of them is Asian, which must mean that Mr. Moore isn’t against diversity or anything. The interview is also done in front of a fireplace which inexplicably has a campaign sign on top of it, because it’s possible the viewer might confuse Roy Moore with a Southern Aaron Eckhart, which would be a pretty easy mistake to make since he was in that terrible Marine-recruitment ad disguised as a movie called Battle: LA, which Moore probably saw opening weekend in a theater full of a teenagers. Millie, however, continues to be enthralled with Mr. Moore, and if a child can root for him to succeed, then surely all of those other adult women who have come out against him must all surely be silly and confused, right?
Polls show that Roy Moore is probably going to win the upcoming Alabama election. But hey, Star Wars is coming, so things aren’t all bad right now.