After everyone else had gone home, Anita Glasscox sat alone in the conference room. Her EviSync was finally recharged.

First she pulled up the list of prior inspections, then nodded at the results. Fingers shaking, she used the shitty touchscreen to query a third name.

She exhaled when the result popped up, then jumped a little when the screen flickered out. But no, it was just the battery going dead.

She looked at her own reflection in the blank screen, her features worn by four near-sleepless days. She ran a finger through her hair, using the screen as a crude mirror, and saw movement behind her-

Anita Glasscox has died. She was the second inspector.

*

Breakfast the next morning in the station canteen is a tense affair, not least because Rafto is doing target practice at one end. You’re not even sure what he’s aiming at.

“You pissers fucked up big time,” says Rafto, sending hollow-points through a box of teabags and a shaker of non-dairy creamer. “I sent Anita’s fuckin’ EviSync down to the IT pit, but frankly I think you’ll all be dead by the time it comes back.” He pauses to load a fresh clip into his pistol. “Serves you right for killing that snowman. It was too fuckin’ pure for this asscrack world.”

“Could you maybe do that outside?” asks Luce.

“Fuck no,” says Rafto as a bullet punches through a juice dispenser. “Cold as shit out there.” His next shot hits a napkin holder, which explodes in a cloud of white shreds.

All along one wall are Employee of the Month awards, every single one of which has gone to Harry Hole, except December 1999, which went to Berk Smøps. The little plaque underneath Berk’s picture credits him with single-handedly saving the station from Y2K.

You look at the wall full of happy Harry Holes and wish you were that good.

Rafto finally puts his pistol down and yanks a pendant on a chain out from inside his shirt. “Oh shit, my cursed amulet’s throbbing.” He looks at you. “Anyone else’s cursed amulet throbbing?”

“We don’t HAVE cursed amulets,” says Luce Hole in frustration.

“Losers,” says Rafto. He goes over to the wounded dispenser and starts sucking juice from it.

“He’s right,” says Sgt. Grumps, sadly. “You are losers.”

“We just need to be more like Harry,” muses Dick P. Nuss.

“That’s it!” says Shaft. “We’ll go to Harry’s office and go through his things. We can BECOME him.” Shaft’s mustache drops off and he sticks it back on real quick. “I mean, we can, uh, dig his style.”

Nobody has any better ideas, so you traipse off, leaving Rafto alone in the canteen. As you leave, you hear him asking a bowl of fruit why the fuck it isn’t alcohol yet.

PLAYERS

1. forget_it_jake – Detective Luce Hole
2. Owen1120 – Doktor Proktor – The first inspector
3. A Winged Potato – Detective John Shaft (replacement for liz156)
4. Capt.LindsayFünke – Anita Glasscox – The second inspector
5. Mello Yello Enthusiast – Hugh G. Jizztracks – Cop
6. Lutair – Flocculent Fissure (replacement for Cuttles)
7. Subsaharan – Cop
8. MacCrocodile – Richard Peter Nuss
9. Snugglewumps – Detective Superintendent Stella Gibson – Cop
10. Pulprobot – Major Bill Jobs – Cop
11. Smapti Jones – Officer Snowman Jones – Cop
12. Hotline BannerThief – Officer “BannerThief” Vakarian
13. JonHamm’sJohnHam – Officer Ralph “Lefty” Hamjab – Serial Killer
14. Doctor Nick – Col. Angus Nuss
15. Zecko – Pistachio Lee, Ace Detective
16. Creeper – Inspector Moufdo
17. InDEEEEED – Officer Indy Rumpe – Cop
18. GIRsCupcake – Bad cop
19. Grumproro – Sgt. Grumps – The Specialist

ROLES

• 11 3 cops (vanilla town)
• 1 investigator (true cop – currently dead). If the investigator is killed, the position will be back-filled by a randomly selected townie after one in-game day.
• 1 jailkeeper. This role will NOT be back-filled if they are killed.
• 4 3 bad cops (mafia)
• 1 rogue cop (serial killer)
• 1 Specialist (secret alignment) (although less secret if you do the math)

RULE CLARIFICATIONS

• The investigator role will always be backfilled from the vanilla town population. If there are no more vanilla town members left, the role will be left empty.
• The jailer cannot jail themselves, or the same person two days in a row.
• Bad cops (mafia) will show up as BAD COP on the investigator’s EviSync. Attempts to investigate the specialist will only yield ERROR. All others come up COP.
• The bad cops win when they are equal to the number of town-aligned players left.
• Town wins when all the bad cops and the serial killer are defeated.
• Serial killer wins when it comes down to just them and one other person.
• A three-way standoff between the last town, last wolf and SK will result in a special ending.
• A tie at the end of day results in No Lynch. A majority of living players voting for any one person (or No Lynch) ends the day early.
• No editing posts.
• No quoting or screencapping from your QTs.
• If you have any other questions about rules, please ask in QT, and I will answer publicly here.

DAY ENDS: 6 p.m. Eastern on Thursday (countdown)