The lead IT guy is named Berk Smøps. He is of unclear age, and his skin has the color and texture of candle wax.
“Welcome to the, hn, IT department.” He waves an arm around the concrete vaults, causing the wallet chain on his lab coat to jingle. “What can we, hn, do for you?”
Officer Vakarian passes the one working EviSync to him. “We need the fingerprint sensor reset on this.”
“Of course.” He snaps his fingers, and a somehow-even-paler man comes over. “Blurp, please reset the, hn, fingerprint scanner.” Blurp carries the scanner away. “While we wait, would you care to see our collection?”
You spend the next 20 minutes quietly appreciating topical humor from 2004 in the form of print-outs taped to hard surfaces. Just as you’re all about to start screaming, however, Blurp returns with the EviSync.
“Hhhere you go,” he says, setting it on a cabinet. “Tellll me, what is the sun like?”
“Now, now,” Berk says chidingly. “The nice surface-dwellers don’t like, hn, gossips.” Blurp slinks away, defeated, and Berk turns to you. “Now! Who will be getting fingerprint-matched?”
You all look at each other, nobody wanting to make the first move.
“Hey,” says Hugh G. Jizztracks. Everyone looks at him. He opens his mouth to speak again, but can’t.
“Uh-oh,” says Shaft in a high, squeaky voice. “I mean, uh, damn. Did he get food poisoning?”
“We drank some bad clam schnapps,” says Luce, uncertainly watching Hugh turn blue. “But I don’t think he had any.”
Hugh keels over onto his face and begins to shake before suddenly going still.
Hugh G. Jizztracks has died. He was vanilla town.
“Well, hn,” says Berk, and at that moment the lights go out. There’s thrashing and crashing in the darkness, the sounds of bodies slamming against steel shelving units and concrete. Just as quickly, the lights come back up. Inspector Moufdo’s lifeless body is now lying crossways on top of Hugh, with a note:
Inspector Moufdo has died. They were vanilla town.
“We should go,” says Anita Glasscox. You actually make as far as the elevator before something weird happens to you again.
When the doors open, there’s a woman standing there, smiling brightly.
“Hello,” she says.
“Hello,” you all reply in confusion.
“Hi!” yells Blurp in the back, but Berk shushes him.
“Are you the squad assigned to the new Snowman murders?”
“Yes,” you all say, with varying levels of enthusiasm.
“Splendid! I’m your specialist.”
“We need a specialist?” asks Anita, as the Specialist pumps her hand.
“What kind of specialist?” asks Luce.
“Oh, all kinds! I’m a general specialist.”
The Specialist has joined the case (played by Grumproro). Her alignment can only be known if she dies. Attempts to investigate her with the EviSync will only yield ERROR.
“My first big case!” she says, smiling. “We’re going to have fun!”
You reluctantly get in the elevator with her.
“Don’t forget your EviSync,” yells Berk. But when you look back, it’s already gone.
A new inspector is now in play.
Topside, Rafto is bawling his eyes out and calling you fuckheads between sobs. This is going to be a bad day.
- forget_it_jake –Detective Luce Hole
Owen1120– Doktor Proktor – The first inspector
- A Winged Potato – Detective John Shaft (replacement for liz156)
- Capt.LindsayFünke – Anita Glasscox
Mello Yello Enthusiast– Hugh G. Jizztracks – Cop
- Lutair – Flocculent Fissure (replacement for Cuttles)
- MacCrocodile – Richard Peter Nuss
Snugglewumps– Detective Superintendent Stella Gibson – Cop Pulprobot– Major Bill Jobs – Cop Smapti Jones– Officer Snowman Jones – Cop
- Hotline BannerThief – Officer “BannerThief” Vakarian
- JonHamm’sJohnHam – Officer Ralph “Lefty” Hamjab
- Doctor Nick – Col. Angus Nuss
- Zecko – Pistachio Lee, Ace Detective
Creeper – Inspector Moufdo InDEEEEED– Officer Indy Rumpe – Cop GIRsCupcake– Bad cop
- Grumproro – The Specialist
113 cops (vanilla town)
- 1 investigator (true cop). If the investigator is killed, the position will be back-filled by a randomly selected townie after one in-game day.
- 1 jailkeeper. This role will NOT be back-filled if they are killed.
43 bad cops (mafia)
- 1 rogue cop (serial killer)
- 1 Specialist (secret alignment)
- The investigator role will always be backfilled from the vanilla town population. If there are no more vanilla town members left, the role will be left empty.
- The jailer cannot jail themselves, or the same person two days in a row.
- Bad cops (mafia) will show up as BAD COP on the investigator’s EviSync. Attempts to investigate the specialist will only yield ERROR. All others come up COP.
- The bad cops win when they are equal to the number of town-aligned players left.
- Town wins when all the bad cops and the serial killer are defeated.
- Serial killer wins when it comes down to just them and one other person.
- A three-way standoff between the last town, last wolf and SK will result in a special ending.
- A tie at the end of day results in No Lynch. A majority of living players voting for any one person (or No Lynch) ends the day early.
- No editing posts.
- No quoting or screencapping from your QTs.
- If you have any other questions about rules, please ask in QT, and I will answer publicly here.
DAY ENDS: 6 p.m. Eastern on Wednesday (for real this time) (countdown)