Bruce the Shark was patrolling the ocean as usual but this time was different for Bruce felt like he haven’t eaten in days. That dolphin he had attacked delicious but he haven’t come across so much as a fish and they always seemed to be everywhere. Surely there are other fish in the sea?

That is until something caught him by surprise. Two legs just dangling from the surface just asking to be eaten. He’d never seen a creature like this before but he’d eat anything at this point or if he was honest with himself, at any point. The creature couldn’t even hear him coming as Bruce grabbed their leg. His jaws grabbed the legs and first pulled it down. The animal struggled to the surface but he wasn’t going to let it get away that easily. He clamped down and dragged it, his teeth digging into the flesh. Convinced he had won he started tearing into the animal’s flesh. It was the tastiest thing he had ever had.

Temporarily content with his meal, Bruce swam off leaving the rest of the body behind. Still he wasn’t satisfied. The animal was tasty but there wasn’t much meat on them bones. He needed more. For a time he was unable to find anymore of this mysterious being. Perhaps it was the only one of its kind but he wasn’t giving up the easy. He manage to catch a couple smaller fish but that wasn’t going to cut it anymore.

One night he saw a strange object floating on the surface. Bruce could smell the fish all the way from the water and was determined to eat whatever that smell was coming from. He struck the object and it rocked back and forth but nothing came of it. It was then that a spear came flying in Bruce’s direction, narrowly missing him. Enraged, he attacked the object again and again leaving behind multiple teeth. Finally he was able to wreck it and two of the creatures fell off of it. “What luck” he thought and scarcely hesitated before tearing into the first body. His teeth viciously tore the body to shreds letting the rest sink to the bottom as well. By the time he had finished eating however, the other one had disappeared. It was disappointing to be sure but at least this one was far more filling.

It was not too long before Bruce would get his next chance at glory. Travelling into a small body of water off the ocean he found a bunch of these floating objects all together. By now he knew the way to get that tasty meat was to first attack these objects. These masses fell over as he merely brushed by them spilling the critters into the ocean. He grabbed the first one he saw dragging it down and getting quite the meal. Still, the novelty was beginning to be lost on him and he decided to abandon his quest for this puny animal. There were far more rewarding targets even if they were hard to catch somewhere out there.

That night however while fleeing the coast he came across one more, meat popsicle dispenser. Sure he was weary of these lean targets, but it would at least make for a nice dessert while he was here. Unlike Bruce’s last hunt however, ramming the large object seemed to do little but turn off the loud sound it was emitting. This was too much work for too little gain and he couldn’t be bothered. For once his stomach was full and he decided the best course of action was to just leave it behind.

These intended treats had another idea as they reappeared harpooning Bruce. He could feel it tugging behind him but he just wanted to get away. Dragging all that way was annoying, but hardly impossible. Still he could feel it getting heavier behind him as it presumably flooded. Just as he felt like he was getting free, he could sense the line being cut and freedom ahead.

It was here that pride got the better of him. This meant war. No one stabs Bruce the motherfücking shark and gets away with it. The weakened mass fled to the shore but it’s efforts proved to be a failure as it began to sink. As our beloved shark swam around waiting for some easy revenge, the stupid creatures seemed to do him a favor and just send in one of theirs for the taking. Sure he was protected by a cage but like that was going to stop him. Bruce pounded the cage before taking another harpoon. He hardly noticed and continued to ram the collapsing structure. All the blood, sand, and broken parts distracted him and just as he finally had a chance to consume one, it escaped unnoticed.

This was his chance to finish off the bastards though. On a food carrier that big there had to be more to eat, more vengeance to be had. No more ramming though. Bruce was going to jump this fücker. He left the water and landed on top sensing two more targets. The object tipped and one of his prey started sliding to him, the shark chomping at the bit. His quarry kicked and trying to fight him off but there was nothing stopping him as he bit down on the legs and slowly devoured the body, blood squirting out of it. Finishing his first course and seeing the transport sinking lower and lower, it was only a matter of time before he had gotten 2 out of 3 with the last surely easy to track down.

This time it was easy for Bruce to ram his way through. The helpless animal struggled to keep above the water which he found almost adorable in a way. Less adorable was being knocked back by come sort of inedible container which was then thrown in his mouth. Sure Bruce would he would consume other worthless junk but that was his decision not something else’s. He kepy trying to swallow it but it wasn’t happening and by the point he was ready to attack again, the last rat bastard had scurried up a wooden post.

This obnoxious fleshy rodent may have been up in the air, but Bruce was going to bring him down. His teeth bit into the post trying to drag it down but all it got him was a third spear and a mouthful of wood. Still, it was clear this was the end. As he lined up a final charge, mouth full of detritus, teeth missing, and blood spewing from him, Bruce was determined to end this once and for all. He sped to his target thinking of all the shit he went through and how much this son of a bítch deserved to die. Loud sounds rang out as he felt the air whizzing by him. Something dug into his body but there was no slowing down. In his final moments, Bruce the shark had only pure hate on his mind for all those that stood in his way. He would never get to clear these from these minds as he improbably exploded in the middle of the ocean, dying instantly and never achieving his revenge.

The End