YouTube ads. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em. Actually, wait, that’s not true. I’m pretty sure I could live without them. I just choose not to pay for Premium and am too lazy to look up an effective ad blocker.

But I’m glad I don’t do that, since then I never would’ve been introduced to Mr. Bob Simmons, the president of Proline Workbenches. Bob Simmons is very passionate about workbenches, and loves talking about them. He doesn’t need any fancy music or even competent sound equipment. Or anything. Just a man and his workbenches, which he means to sell to you. And he’s wearing a suit. As you do when selling workbenches. And who even needs an editor? Just stand quietly next to your product until you are certain the camera is rolling and then start your workbench speech. No need to remove that part. Not if you’re Bob Simmons, the president of Proline (or is it “Pro-Line” as multiple websites insist on spelling it?) Workbenches.

Now…here’s the weird part. This ad is fifteen years old! And, for reasons no one can figure out, it has suddenly started appearing regularly during YouTube commercial breaks. You know, the ones you now get every 90 seconds it seems. Huh. Maybe I should try ad-blocker. Or not because, again, then I wouldn’t have been blessed with the gift of Bob Simmons, president of Proline Workbenches. And by the way, up until last year, Proline’s YouTube channel lay dormant for nearly fifteen years. Maybe there was a worldwide workbench shortage. Maybe Bob was hibernating. Then out of nowhere, they uploaded an extremely brief video to their page in 2025 which was presumably filmed in 2021, since it is cleverly titled “Proline Modex 2021.” If you’re wondering what became of Bob, well, he’s still selling workbenches the same way he always has. Except this time he gets ambitious and shows you some pictures of them. I joke, but really, good for him. The workbench economy can’t be a kind one. Not when so many people aren’t working.

Soooooo…why is Bob suddenly appearing in a fifteen-year-old commercial during a retrospective of the Jimmy Neutron spin-off Planet Sheen? Does the algorithm somehow equate “supposedly much-loathed Nick cartoon YouTubers like to crap on” with “high quality and trusted workbenches”? I’ve seen online comments wondering if this is somehow connected to Backrooms, and no, I am not kidding when I say that. But I’m also too tired to elaborate on it.

Although…maybe if you venture into the backrooms long enough, you’ll find one of Proline’s workbenches, except something about it would be kind of off. Imagine describing a Proline Workbench to someone who has never seen one and asking them to draw it. They might get some of the details correct, but there’s no way they’re going to get everything right. “And the best part is…you can sit at them. Work at them. They may be off-model, but they’re still a high quality and trusted product, as featured in our back-catalogs.” Also, I doubt Bob ever wanted to be an architect. I think he’s perfectly content selling workbenches. In fact that was probably his dream career even when growing up. That’s assuming, of course, that Bob was ever a child and didn’t just emerge from a workbench drawer, fully grown and ready to get to work. Again, I joke, but good for him.

Have the power today, y’all. Be safe, be well, be you. And if you finding yourself needing a workbench, well, I think I might know a guy…