Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey is finally in theaters after folks bought their tickets for it more than a year ago. Critics are giving it great reviews because they love it and/or because Christopher Nolan knows where they live. So it’s fitting in a way that its release should fall on the 30th anniversary of another cinematic epic. In fact, I’m sure Mr. Nolan chose this date specifically for that reason. “You know what motion picture was good shit? Kazaam.” I’m sure he must’ve said this as I’m sure Mr. Nolan insists on calling movies “motion pictures.” Especially pure cinema like Kazaam.

Kazaam was released by Walt Disney Studios under their long-defunct “adult” Touchstone Pictures banner, even with it being a kids flick advertised on The Disney Channel. If I had to guess, Shaq’s agent probably insisted on this. “You can’t let Shaq star in a Disney film! It will hurt his reputation since Disney is not seen as hip and cool! They can’t think it’s some baby movie like The Hunchback of Notre Dame! We want for Shaq’s big screen starring debut to be seen as more important than that.” I joke, but this was also probably the reason Whitney Houston’s The Preacher’s Wife was released under the same logo the following Christmas despite also being PG and perfectly appropriate for families.

Anyway, in Kazaam Shaq plays a genie, for reasons I’m sure had nothing to do with Disney wanting to replicate the success of Aladdin. But that movie’s Genie lived inside of a magic lamp. Lame. Shaq Genie lives inside of a…boombox. Because 90s. And he raps. Because 90s. And because Shaq wanted it, probably. And also because 90s. Shaq Genie is named Kazaam so I’m not sure why I’ve been calling him Shaq Genie. Maybe because the title Kazaam somehow lead to that weird Mandela Effect where everyone apparently imagined a non-existent Sinbad Genie film.

Now although I’m certain Christopher Nolan recognizes its genius and always has, Kazaam was a commercial dud and a critical disaster when it came out. Reviews wasting no time slam-dunking on Shaq’s acting, his rapping, and maybe even his boombox. These days, it’s considered a childhood classic or an accidental ironic masterpiece by many, and has also been at the receiving end of seemingly endless jokes (heck, the new Scary Movie contains a Kazaam reference! Maybe because the first movie had one, but the point still stands!). In other words, it has a following. Kind of. I mean I’m not sure if we can just throw around the term “cult classic” for every flop I cover, you know. But it does have fans. Including Christopher Nolan.

Now if you wanted your Kazaam fix back in the day, you could kazaam your way into a Taco Bell and get one of four Shaq Genie toys with your Shaq Genie kids meal. I remember seeing the display and poster for these in the restaurant but sadly never got any of them. So no, I don’t have a launching Shaq Genie! My childhood wasn’t perfect, alright? There are things I wish had happened differently! If only I had a boombox with a genie in it! Then I could solve that problem! (Actually, you know what, I do kind of regret not having these as a kid)

Have a KAZAAM day, y’all!