Jerry dates a woman who gets him whatever he wants. George accidentally gets his boss hooked on calzones. Elaine dates a man who strenuously denies he’s dating her. Kramer becomes obsessed with baking his clothing before he wears it.

Written by: Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer
Directed by: Andy Ackerman

Todd Gack’s behaviour all episode is another one of those Seinfeld bits of creativity where what he does is technically not wrong, but it feels wrong. Seinfeld is dedicated to being funny, and what’s funny is usually what’s incorrect (or, as Rowan Atkinson once put it, something that’s too big, too small, or in the wrong place); Seinfeld follows it one step at a time until it goes somewhere totally absurd, and it always starts with the simplest thing. It’s an interesting way to look at all the stories we have in this episode. Elaine’s story with Todd is funny because he keeps committing to the idea that they’re not dating long after it should make any sense, and each time there’s just enough leeway for it to feel possible that he’s just spending time with someone he likes. John D’Aquino plays Todd as genuinely oblivious to what he’s doing here (except at the very end, where he’s apparently learned his lesson and sheepishly shrugs off Elaine’s confusion).

George’s story commits even more to this. The initial spark of an idea – dropping a tip only for it not to be noticed – was something that happened to the writers, but even without that, it’s the kind of thing that’s happened to me so often that I recognise George’s exasperation. Part of the reason it’s so funny is precisely because George’s action requires so little effort and is so often done without thought that it not working as usual breaks the brain. The mind is so intimately connected with cause-and-effect that, when effect does not follow cause, it infuriates. Of course, this interweaves with Steinbrenner, who is absurd but also articulates fairly base and childish impulses.

Jerry’s story doesn’t quite fit this idea; he’s just taking pleasure in getting a little extra in his life. I suppose it’s ‘wrong’, but in the sense of him getting away with something. Kramer’s story is a little more in this vein; as George observed once, his whole life is backwards. Thoughtlessly using Jerry’s oven without asking is funny; trying to use coins to pay for everything is not technically wrong, which is funny; baking his clothes in order to warm them up is definitely technically wrong, but also funny, particularly when it’s escalated to using a pizza oven.

TOPICS O’ THE WEEK

• “I think we’re tipping now just for the absence of outright hostility.”
• The best part of Steinbrenner scenes is watching Jason Alexander react to him.
• “They’re really building a utopian society up there. […] With you two guys at the helm, the last piece of the puzzle’s in place.”
• “She’s like a beautiful Godzilla.” / “And I’m thousands of fleeing Japanese.”
• “But I never walk you home.” / “That’s because you’re a jackass.”
• “Nothing more satisfying than looking down after lunch and seeing just a table.”
• “You know how these inter-office politics work!” / “No, I never had a job.” God, the dream.
• George and Newman has been an incredibly rare pairing up until now. George is more focused and goal-oriented than the others, so he’s more likely to indulge his idiocy, even on a moment-to-moment basis. Though we do also get his spluttering rage at learning Newman doesn’t work in the rain (“Neither rain nor sleet nor – it’s the first one!“).
• “And three times a week, I shall require a cannoli.”
• Great moment in blocking: Kramer drops pennies, then slips on the pennies.

Biggest Laugh:

Next Week: “The Bottle Deposit”